Do you ever feel homesick?
Specially when Corona has the world on lockdown,
But your heart is elsewhere, waiting and anxious to return,
To your family, to the waves you called home.
I still reminisce those sunny days,
When my aunt took me by my hand to see the dawn rise,
Those stony pebbles, the sandy feet and warm gatherings in
Conchalio.
Seem so far away, now. It's been more than 20 years.
But it will be always be the moment I have felt the most at home.
Zhangjiajie is well-known for its beautiful mountains. It is also the place that Avatar was filmed.
Michael has been obsessed with visiting the mountains. We made a stop in our Honeymoon.
Everywhere I looked, it looked like a Chinese painting....majestic and poetic.
I would highly recommend going to Zhangjiajie if you are in Hunan province. We are thinking of going back once Covid ends during the Summer time.
Pictures for your enjoyment.
The captive raised her face; it was a soft and mild
As sculptured marble saint; or slumbering unweaned child;
It was so soft and mild, it was so sweet and fair,
Pain could not trace a line, or grief a shadow there!
The captive raised her hand and pressed it to her brow;
"I have been struck," she said, "and I am suffering now;
Yet these are little worth, your bolts and iron strong;
And, were they forged in steel, they could not hold me long."
-Emily Brontë,
"The Prisoner," 1845
I grew up in a very religious community...where wearing nail polish was deemed wrong, using sleeveless shirts was provocative and listening to non-Christian music was worldly.
I lived in this kind of environment from age 12-23. I truly believed that by following God, reading the Bible every day and following the rules imposed by this community, I would live a full and glorious life.
Yet, deep down, I often felt suppressed and unfulfilled. The religious leaders would isolate me from my family members, become weirdly jealous when I attended other youth meetings and were just very controlling.
Again, at a young age, I thought I was doing the right thing...leaving everything behind to follow Jesus.
But as I became older, travelled more and met more people, I realized that this religious community was not normal. It was abusive. If I did not attend, say a Friday meeting, they would call and check on me. They did not respect my boundaries. They started asking for money. I didn't feel loved or supported. I felt used.
So I left.
I changed my phone number and stopped going to all meetings.
I erased all my contacts from social media and quit cold turkey.
To this day, I have not returned or contacted any members.
It has been by far one of the most difficult things I have ever done. It took me every ounce of courage to leave. But it was worth it.
I sincerely believe that Jesus does not want us to live a life of spiritual abuse. He gave us all freedom. Freedom to live life and choose our life paths.
And I started to carve my own path, with its ups and downs, but I experienced freedom.
I moved to Costa Rica and started from scratch. It was not easy but so liberating to finally live a life that I wanted.
I was able to attend Summer programmes in Cambridge and the School of Oriental and African studies in the UK. I am currently doing a Masters on International Education in the University of Bath.
I went to Senegal and helped out on a project started by a Costa Rican and it was so interesting to experience another culture.
I met a loving partner that supports me in all my dreams. He takes cares of me and loves me for who I am. We have a dream of traveling and working in different places while producing art and literature.
I was able to experience the different facets that life has to offer...the good and the bad. I've experienced heartbreak, disappointment, joy, love but most of all freedom.
Let no one take away your freedom...
For life is too short to live a life that others want you to live.
Xian was handsdown my favorite stop in our honeymoon.
During our first date, Michael asked me if I could go anywhere in the world...where it would be? I answered: The Silk Road. And he said "we shall go one day." In my mind, I thought he was a little crazy since it was our first date. Also in my mind, the Silk Road encompasses: Xian, Uzbekistan, Kyrgystan, Turkey, parts of Iran and lastly Italy. Travelling to those places would be the ultimate adventure since my inner nerd loves the history and art of the Silk Road.
To be honest, Beijing was quite hectic and stressful since it was such a big city and the people were a tad bit unfriendly. If it wasn't for my friend whom I met in Bath, we would be lost. Xian was much friendlier, the people spoke more English and it was such a culinary adventure!
The first day, we ventured down to Muslim Street! It has always been a dream of mine to taste all the delicacies and see the encounter between the East and West of China. We had so much fun tasting all the street food: oysters, flat bread with meat fillings, lamb burgers, steamed dumplings...you name it! Everything seemed so exquisite and exotic...Western China is quite impressive (I have previously travelled to China but only knew the Cantonese side).
The second day, we went to see the Terracota warriors. I have seen them in history books and heard about them but to actually see them was kind of surreal. I recommend booking a tour since the museum is 1 hour away from the city, and it so much easier to have a guide. We also met one of the farmers that discovered the Terracota Warriors. It was interesting to learn that the warriors had a hierarchy and were placed a certain way for auspicious purposes. We also went to the Ban Po people museum where we learned about the ancient settlers who had similar cultural practices as the Mosuo people (walking marriages, round houses) in the south.
The third day, we went to the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda. I really recommend this place since it has a nice garden to walk around and different ancient artefacts to look at. The Pagoda itself is not accesible to the public since it is so old. There is a giant bronze bell that you can play for good luck (for the price of 5 yuan ~ $0.70). It was an overally fun place to tour around. At night, we attended a Tang dynasty show which was really cool since it showcased the costumes, music and traditionsof said dynasty.
Overall, I would rate Xian 10/10 in terms of food, hospitality and adventure factor. I woudl definitely go again just for the food!
Pictures for your enjoyment:
(Inspired by my travels to Fiji in the Summers of 2008, 2009, 2010)
Oh to walk at night,
Gazing at the Southern skies,
Gilded with stars, as bright as
Jewels, dancing in their glory
To the music of the spheres.
With Melody by my side,
We were singing as we walked
From Nasese to Suva,
Dreaming bright dreams of Abba.
I have always lived my life in my own terms.
Despite the naysayers, the religious people, and even my own family, I have always had my mind on my own.
"Africa is too dangerous."
I travelled to Madagascar, South Africa and Senegal in my twenties. Travelling to those countries opened my eyes and helped me learn so much from the world.
"Why did you leave church?"
I left an spiritual abusive church and a system of thought that was soul crushing and mind boggling in so many ways. It has been by far one of the most difficult things I have gone through.
"You can't do it on your own," they said. "Why are you leaving everything behind?"
I moved to Canada alone at 18 and moved to Costa Rica on my own at 27. Got a bachelors degree in Canada and I am working at a job in Costa Rica that fulfills my purpose on earth.
"Why don't you have a boyfriend? It must be so dull."
I took Summer courses in Cambridge University and University of London and had the chance to meet interesting people around the world. I embraced my freedom in my late 20s and pursued my interests fiercely.
"He is too old, he might be married."
And I married a University professor (he is not that old btw...mid 30s) who teaches sculpture at Costa Rica's largest university and makes me breakfast everyday.
"Why don't you get married in a hotel? It will be much easier."
And I got married in a forest, in a volcano in a Vera Wang dress, with my closest friends, a string quartet and Salvadoran artesanal ice-cream at my wedding. Just like I wanted it to be.
"When will you have babies?"
Just stop. Seriously. Stop. We have been married for only 8 months and we are in the middle of a pandemic. I am getting my Masters degree in Education and babies are still not part of the equation.
In my 31 years of existence, one thing that I have learned is that no one else will live your life. Naysayers are often people who are not courageous enough to live out their own lives. They are often sad people who judge your life to make themselves to feel better.
Life is too short to allow such people to push you back.
People should just let other people be.
