Sketches

[On a mountain, we gaze at the Beloved City]

"We have come a long way, my Lord."
"You are finally home, My dear."
"The journey was rough, but beautiful nonetheless."
"You have been faithful."
"I wouldn't have made it without You."
"It was worth the pain."
"No pain, no gain."

[He takes me by the hand and we enter the Pearly Gates
The saints and angels gladly rejoice at our entrance.]

A New Name

Will Thou give me a new name?
For my old self hath passed away.
Thou hast broken me, destroyed me and renewed me.
Thou hast loved me, healed me and lifteth me.
I am a new creation -transformed by beholding Thy truth and beauty.
I am the most lovely bride; a reflection of Thy love and glory.
Bright Star - thou shinest hope to all lands.

[Revelations 2:17]

The Midwest

I flew early morning to the Midwest.

























 Along the way I met up with one of my best friends from Primary. We had lunch at Mickey's, one of the famous diners at St Paul.

We had a major catching-up session. He told me that he was doing his PhD in Princeton. He shared with me his passion for Near Eastern studies, his fascination towards the transantlantic correspondence between Latin America and the Middle East, the influences of Positivism and how it shaped Latin American society in the 18th-19th century, the latest political crisis in El Salvador. I was happy for him. I told him about my plans of opening a school in Latin America with the hopes of innovating the education and future of poor children. He gave me good and practical advice. I realized that we have changed, but we were still the same...nerdy, kind and funny old selves.

We rented a car and drove south to a small town called Winona, where my other best friend resides.

The ride was an adventure. I haven't driven for months, so I was out of practice. It was raining, cold and dark. At some point we thought that there was a flat tyre. But at the end we made it. My friend received us with a hug, a smile and a plate of turkey accompanied with side dishes of Thanksgivings goodness.

We shared, conversed, laughed and had an amazing time over the course of three days. This break was much needed. I realized that I haven't felt at home for the longest time. Even though the blistering cold of the Midwest was hard to endure, the warmth of that unconditional love and friendship that sustained us throughout the crazy years in High School was still there.

Among the many topics that we covered during our conversations, these are the main ones that left me in deep thought:

Social Consciousness and Responsibility: We grew up in a society that valued position and appearance a lot. Our classroom was a microcosm and a reflection of the class-based Salvadoran society. We talked about the past injustices and exclusions made by teachers and certain classmates. And many of those interactions contributed to our insecurities. To be honest, I felt that we were never accepted because we were perceived as a the nerdy kids. You had to act and dress in a certain way to be part of the popular crowd.

This brought us to the point of social consciousness and responsibility. All our actions and words bear consequences. And a lot of the people in school (I don't know if they were aware or not), did things that hurt others and brought consequences to their development. For example: humiliating a child in front of the class for a petty thing, excluding a classmate, and so on. Of course, nobody is perfect, but we must be conscious that our actions do bring consequences.

Educators and leaders should be responsible to create safe spaces for growth -free of bullying, back biting and gossip. Turning a blind eye or neglecting a problem is just as bad as hurting others. The pattern is hard to break, but the only way to do so is to set a good example to others by being kind, respectful and fair to everyone. If there is a problem, we should deal with it right away.

Autonomy: We have come to a stage in our lives that we are making decisions that will affect our future paths. We are no longer under the loving guidance of our parents, nor are we specifically bound with responsibilities such as family/children. It's a confusing age to begin with...and I am still trying to decipher my identity.

I have had a series of epiphanies this year that made me realize the power of human autonomy (thanks to Hebrews 11, reading CS Lewis and John Piper). Will power and desire can bring tremendous changes when used for good. A lot of people do not realize their value and the impact that they can bring to their communities. Therefore, their existence rests in passivity. Many times they are bound up with negativity, society's expectations and past troubles. I was one of those people, but thank God that my eyes were opened through faith. That's why it's so important to live in the truth. The truth will set you free.

You are the author of your own life-story. God gives you the choices and opportunities, but you are the one who makes decisions.

Acceptance: There is a great need in the human psyche for love, acceptance, respect and appreciation. Problem behaviours arise when these elements are lacking. For example, some children skip school because they are not accepted by their peers. Couples may have problems in their marriage because there is a lack of appreciation. Communities disintegrate when there is a lack of love.

Of course, we have to accept that we are not perfect. Human beings are flawed in so many ways. That's why we need God's love to heal our brokenness. When we are satiated in His love, we can bring love and acceptance to our community. Love brings the best out of us.

It's interesting to see that the three of us grew up with the same kind of values and ideals but we have taken different paths. One friend is doing his PhD and pursuing Academia and Law as a career. The other one is living a life of voluntary poverty and hospitality. He volunteers at a homeless shelter for the Catholic Workers and is planning to open an organic farm the next year with some friends. And I am kind of in the middle. I am a pursuing a teaching career with the hopes that one day I will open a school in Latin America.

The three of us are thinkers, idealists, writers and kind-hearted people. I am glad that God crossed our paths in the past.

This trip has made me reflect deeply in how I should live my life. I have matured. I have grown. And there are greater things to come. This is just the beginning.

Photos for your enjoyment: 

I had the wonderful opportunity to meet John Piper. His book 'Desiring God' changed my perspective in life. To pursue God is to pursue true joy. As Christians, it is our duty to delight in Him first.

Monday Evening Meditation

Have you ever wondered why were you born in this age? Why are you in this particular place? Why are you surrounded by these people?

What is life? It is like vapour. Two seconds and we evaporate to eternity.

Your days are numbered. You only live a set amount of years.

What are you going to do with your life?

Do you realize that you are the author of your life-story?

You are destined for great things.

But remember, you are who you choose to be.

[Meditation inspired by Psalm 90 and James 4:14]

Meditations on a Friday Morning

[Conversing with God in the Garden, our Secret Place]

"I've been thinking a lot about You and the people of this generation lately.

People of this generation demand true friendship and love when they lack these qualities themselves. They are restless, often distracted. And they forget of what is essential in life.

Some chase after the wind. They spend their life pursuing temporal pleasures and hoarding on money. At the end they are starving for love and meaning.

Why would people seek their own treasures when You are the source of all treasures?

[I paused. And grieved.]

And some people misunderstand You. They blame You for their troubles and sufferings. They don't really know You, and yet they slander against You. Some treat You as a gene thinking that their wishes will come true when they pray to You. So many people take You for granted.

And they often forget that You are a Person with feelings.

(How will they feel if someone treated them that way?)

Oh Lord, how do You bear with humanity? You have been so patient with us. 

How many people truly understand Your heart?

Remember that I am Your friend. I want to be close to You.

Keep me till the end."