[A little Haiku for a true friend]
Years have passed,
and I have not yet found a friend
Like you.
Such friend
who sought me in trials,
and rejoiced with me.
Such friend
who taught me the value of beauty,
deep thought, truth and honesty.
The only way
That I can relive such friendship and love
Is to become a friend like you.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Tibi Ipsi Dic Vere
To thine self be true
There is a great joy of being yourself.
To be free from wanting to be someone else, to be free from other people's expectations, to be free from wanting to fit in, to feel completely comfortable in your own skin, to be accepted for just the way you are is a great blessing.
This world is constantly trying to steal our identity, and bombarding us with false precepts of the things we should attain: money, materialistic things, fame and power. But these things have no real permanence. Will these things make you happy? It will pass away one day. It's a real pity to see people pursuing after these things. But it happens. It's their choice.
This year I made remarkable discoveries about myself:
-I am a very loving, affectionate and generous person.
-I am honest and genuine. I am terrible at lying and pretending to be someone I am not.
-I have a very intimate relationship with God and that is what keeps me strong in life.
-The only way that I can find myself is through faith in God and His promises.
-I cannot spend long periods of time by myself. I need friends...inside and outside church. I love to socialize and I learn the most from conversations.
-I am a good and loyal friend. I try to give my best to others.
-I don't live for myself. I live for God.
-I am more Latina than Asian. And that's totally fine because I come from a mixed heritage. I am multicultural and open-minded.
-It's okay to be emotional because that's how God created me and I am a woman. The most healthy way to channel my emotions is through writing.
-I love reading and playing music. Because I am an introvert I need some time alone to recharge by doing the things I love.
To be honest, I haven't felt so happy and comfortable for the longest time. Maybe ever since I was 14? Something happened when I was 15 that made me negative and depressed all the time. But thank God that He healed me. Thus, I can finally be myself again. I think it is partly because I am finally able to forgive others and forgive myself, and partly because I have a strong support system.
God created you. And He loves you the way you are. He wants you to embrace your true identity and be happy the way you are. Accept yourself, forgive yourself and be true to yourself.
There is a great joy of being yourself.
To be free from wanting to be someone else, to be free from other people's expectations, to be free from wanting to fit in, to feel completely comfortable in your own skin, to be accepted for just the way you are is a great blessing.
This world is constantly trying to steal our identity, and bombarding us with false precepts of the things we should attain: money, materialistic things, fame and power. But these things have no real permanence. Will these things make you happy? It will pass away one day. It's a real pity to see people pursuing after these things. But it happens. It's their choice.
This year I made remarkable discoveries about myself:
-I am a very loving, affectionate and generous person.
-I am honest and genuine. I am terrible at lying and pretending to be someone I am not.
-I have a very intimate relationship with God and that is what keeps me strong in life.
-The only way that I can find myself is through faith in God and His promises.
-I cannot spend long periods of time by myself. I need friends...inside and outside church. I love to socialize and I learn the most from conversations.
-I am a good and loyal friend. I try to give my best to others.
-I don't live for myself. I live for God.
-I am more Latina than Asian. And that's totally fine because I come from a mixed heritage. I am multicultural and open-minded.
-It's okay to be emotional because that's how God created me and I am a woman. The most healthy way to channel my emotions is through writing.
-I love reading and playing music. Because I am an introvert I need some time alone to recharge by doing the things I love.
To be honest, I haven't felt so happy and comfortable for the longest time. Maybe ever since I was 14? Something happened when I was 15 that made me negative and depressed all the time. But thank God that He healed me. Thus, I can finally be myself again. I think it is partly because I am finally able to forgive others and forgive myself, and partly because I have a strong support system.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Anita
"I heard that you opened a school in India."
She smiled and invited me to sit with her. The sound of chatter and laughter travelled around the room as the sisters were having dinner before their cell-group. It was a typical chilly Wednesday evening.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Anita."
I have met many Christians before, but to meet such a rare and beautiful soul was uncommon. We instantly made a connection. She volunteers as a houseparent and as a professional development coordinator for teachers in a school in Jangareddigudem, Andhra Pradesh. Basically, she helps run the school and takes care of 17 children at the children's home.
She told me that this was her dream ever since she was a teenager. There were two paths that she could take: 1) to live a conventional life in Vancouver (settle down with a good job and drive a Toyota Yaris) or 2) Go to a third world country and do great things for the Lord. She chose the latter. She shared how the Lord slowly redirected her to accomplish her dream in the recent years. While she was working as a teacher in an International School in Dalian, China, she met a group of Christians that introduced her to an organization in India. The organization already bought a plot of land for further development. After a year, she raised enough funds to build a school. She later quit her job as a teacher in order to devote her life to God and these children.
"What an amazing courage and faith," I thought to myself as she recounted her experiences and how she lived under $50 a month. She mainly used this money to buy extra vegetables and fruits to keep herself healthy. It has definitely not been a smooth journey for her. She told me about the cultural and language barriers, the loneliness, the tests of faith...
She also told me about the reverse culture shock she has been experiencing after coming back to Vancouver for a short visit. One of her relatives invited her to an expensive dinner. As she was eating Abalone and Shark Fin, she thought about the children, and how much help they could receive from the money she was spending that night. Tears started to well up in her eyes. From her face, I could see that she had an immense and genuine love towards God and these children.
The conversation left me in deep thought. It made me think about my value system. When I went home that night, I quickly rummaged through my music box and looked at my jewelry. I own too many necklaces. I looked at my closet. I have many beautiful clothes. I looked at my fridge. There is a lot of food. There is nothing wrong of dressing well or eating well, but to hoard God's blessings and not share it with others made me feel uneasy. The little I can give can be a great blessing to a child in India. The money that I spend for a dress can sustain a child's food and education for one month.
Jesus only owned 2 garments on earth. Yet He freely and generously gave His love to the people around Him. At least enough to feed 5000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish.
Anita's story also made me think that one day I will leave my comforts permanently. I have been to many missionary trips before, and I've suffered countless of flea bites, sickness and whatnot. But that was only temporal, because I knew that at the end of the day, I still had my ticket to fly back to Canada. It also made me seriously think: Am I ready for this? Am I ready leave my comfortable life to serve Him full-time? Am I willing to commit my whole life for His work?
I know the answer already. God's love demands our all. He already gave His life for us, shouldn't we also give our life for Him too?
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for me will find it (Matthew 16:25).
She smiled and invited me to sit with her. The sound of chatter and laughter travelled around the room as the sisters were having dinner before their cell-group. It was a typical chilly Wednesday evening.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Anita."
I have met many Christians before, but to meet such a rare and beautiful soul was uncommon. We instantly made a connection. She volunteers as a houseparent and as a professional development coordinator for teachers in a school in Jangareddigudem, Andhra Pradesh. Basically, she helps run the school and takes care of 17 children at the children's home.
She told me that this was her dream ever since she was a teenager. There were two paths that she could take: 1) to live a conventional life in Vancouver (settle down with a good job and drive a Toyota Yaris) or 2) Go to a third world country and do great things for the Lord. She chose the latter. She shared how the Lord slowly redirected her to accomplish her dream in the recent years. While she was working as a teacher in an International School in Dalian, China, she met a group of Christians that introduced her to an organization in India. The organization already bought a plot of land for further development. After a year, she raised enough funds to build a school. She later quit her job as a teacher in order to devote her life to God and these children.
"What an amazing courage and faith," I thought to myself as she recounted her experiences and how she lived under $50 a month. She mainly used this money to buy extra vegetables and fruits to keep herself healthy. It has definitely not been a smooth journey for her. She told me about the cultural and language barriers, the loneliness, the tests of faith...
She also told me about the reverse culture shock she has been experiencing after coming back to Vancouver for a short visit. One of her relatives invited her to an expensive dinner. As she was eating Abalone and Shark Fin, she thought about the children, and how much help they could receive from the money she was spending that night. Tears started to well up in her eyes. From her face, I could see that she had an immense and genuine love towards God and these children.
The conversation left me in deep thought. It made me think about my value system. When I went home that night, I quickly rummaged through my music box and looked at my jewelry. I own too many necklaces. I looked at my closet. I have many beautiful clothes. I looked at my fridge. There is a lot of food. There is nothing wrong of dressing well or eating well, but to hoard God's blessings and not share it with others made me feel uneasy. The little I can give can be a great blessing to a child in India. The money that I spend for a dress can sustain a child's food and education for one month.
Jesus only owned 2 garments on earth. Yet He freely and generously gave His love to the people around Him. At least enough to feed 5000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish.
Anita's story also made me think that one day I will leave my comforts permanently. I have been to many missionary trips before, and I've suffered countless of flea bites, sickness and whatnot. But that was only temporal, because I knew that at the end of the day, I still had my ticket to fly back to Canada. It also made me seriously think: Am I ready for this? Am I ready leave my comfortable life to serve Him full-time? Am I willing to commit my whole life for His work?
I know the answer already. God's love demands our all. He already gave His life for us, shouldn't we also give our life for Him too?
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for me will find it (Matthew 16:25).
Monday, October 8, 2012
Quote
The loneliest people are the kindest,
The saddest people smile the brightest,
The most damaged people are the wisest.
All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer
the way they do.
The saddest people smile the brightest,
The most damaged people are the wisest.
All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer
the way they do.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Let me be to Thee as the circling bird,
Let me be to Thee as the circling bird,
Or bat with tender and air-crisping wings
That shapes in half-light his departing rings,
From both of whom a changeless note is heard.
I have found my music in a common word,
Trying each pleasurable throat that sings
And every praised sequence of sweet strings,
And know infallibly which I preferred.
The authentic cadence was discovered late
Which ends those only strains that I approve,
And other science all gone out of date
And minor sweetness scarce made mention of:
I have found the dominant of my range and state -
Love, O my God, to call Thee Love and Love.
Gerard Manley Hopkins
Kandom note: I miss those days when my friends and I recited poems to each other, played tetris and talked about the meaning of life at the back of the school pool.
Or bat with tender and air-crisping wings
That shapes in half-light his departing rings,
From both of whom a changeless note is heard.
I have found my music in a common word,
Trying each pleasurable throat that sings
And every praised sequence of sweet strings,
And know infallibly which I preferred.
The authentic cadence was discovered late
Which ends those only strains that I approve,
And other science all gone out of date
And minor sweetness scarce made mention of:
I have found the dominant of my range and state -
Love, O my God, to call Thee Love and Love.
Gerard Manley Hopkins
Kandom note: I miss those days when my friends and I recited poems to each other, played tetris and talked about the meaning of life at the back of the school pool.