Sketches

The smell of tumeric, curry, anise and dried shitake impregnate the small room at the back of the restaurant. The shelf, an aglomorated collection of relics from my parents travels around the world -jasmine tea, canned mackarell, ferrero rochers, satey sauce...you name it, we even have that dried fuzzy mushroom they put in soups -stands next to me as I catch the last rays of sunshine in the late afternoon, my favourite time of the day.

As I have grown older,  I have realized that we sell more than Chao Mein or Chop Suey; we sell the idea of China, the Far East, the Exotic, the Mystique to the people in El Salvador. And people buy that. They often ask: "Do you speak the language?" "Have you been to China?" or even more funnily, "Are you a Korean Chinese?" "What's the difference between Taiwan and China?" People often approach out of friendliness for some small talk. But I have often realized how little do I know about China, or what it means to be Chinese. Yes, I do speak the language, I do know the core values of honouring family and hard work. But I also eat Pupusas with my hands, speak in Salvadorean Caliche and laugh in Spanish with hand gestures and all (yes, there is a difference between hahaha and jajaja).

There are elements of the Chinese culture that still baffles me to this day. Why do we not openly talk about our feelings? Why do they talk about their children's salaries in their get-togethers? Why do Chinese families adhere to strict patriarchal structures that are rarely questioned?

Maybe some children of Chinese Immigrants might relate.

As I continue to ask questions (as I always do), I have been drawn to reading more about China and its culture. I have been reading Forgotten Kingdom by Peter Goullart,  a fascinating book by a Russian author about China's indigenous groups. Goullart describes with much detail about the Mosuo -an ethnic group near Lujiang with a matriarchal system that allows women to run the family and have walking marriages, meaning the men only come home to spend the night with his women and leave in the morning. How fascinating! There is zero to none marital problems, since husband and wife do not live together. Children are raised under the mother's home with the help of uncles and male members of the family. Women own the land that is passed down to their daughters.

And this leads me to this thought. We are born into a pre-established system with the purpose of maintaining the status quo. This status quo is what have helped to maintain order for that social group for a long period of time. The problem lies when the 'system' starts to clash with the changes that modern times inevitably bring to the newer generation, such as gender roles, communication styles, expectations, different values and so on. My theory is that there is a breaking point; when the new generation establishes a new status quo, forms its own system, their offsprings are born into it and voilà, the cycle starts again.