Monday, November 18, 2013

Sunday and Monday

Mexico is such a beautiful country.

There is so much natural beauty, culture and history in this place.

But most of all, people are so warm and welcoming. During my 2 months here, I've been able to make kind and lovely friends. God has blessed me through their friendship.

Here are more photos from my weekend.

Sunday: We went to the El Tule (World's thickest tree ~ 2000 years old) for lunch with my Church community.

Monday: Schools were closed because it was holiday. My friends and I organized an outing to Mitla, a Zapotec town known for its Archaeological site. We had SO MUCH fun. We shared our stories, joked around (latino style) and bonded. I'm so blessed to encounter such kind and beautiful people in my life.

I hope I can come back April for a visit. I will miss them so much.

















Saturday, November 16, 2013

Second last Weekend in Oaxaca




















My professor organized an Art Show showcasing the paintings made by Zapotec Children in Cuajimoloyas and Santo Tomas. We helped out with sorting out and framing the paintings.



















One of the paintings made by the children. I believe that the young artist that painted this piece was 10 years old! Pretty impressive.



















Some of my classmates and I visited the Farmers' market today at El Pochote. I am so blessed to meet such kind and beautiful people in this program.

























I then headed down to El Zocalo and Santo Domingo. There were quite a few Weddings happening today! It was so nice to see so many celebrations going around town.

























I needed some down time (go introverts!). So I chilled around Santo Domingo before heading home. We are having a dinner party at my professor's house tonight.

I sometimes cannot believe the levels of happiness I am currently experiencing. I never imagined that God would answer my prayers in such a way. He has given me this wonderful opportunity to live life fully again.

I am so grateful for His grace and love this year!

Friday, November 15, 2013

A quote

"It is our duty to compare our present emotions with their former selves and with one another, and thus determine differences. We must compare them with their former selves, to see whether the desires and fears and angry passions which we experience today are less intense than they used to be, inasmuch as we, by means of reason, are rapidly getting rid of the cause that kindles and inflames them; and we must compare them with one another, to see whether now we are more inclined to feel shame than fear, to be emulous rather than envious, more eager for good repute than for money." (Plutarch, 1927/1986: 445, 447)




















I give thanks that God has changed me so much this year.
My goal is to become more like Christ in my character and actions.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Young adulthood


















Being in your 20s can be confusing.

It's an age of independence, important decisions and transformation.

There are so many changes going on that it may feel a bit overwhelming.

But it's also a liberating and joyful stage in life.

To anyone who is in your 20s, here are some pieces of advice:
  • Take risks and don't be afraid of failure. 
  • Challenge your presumptions. Open your mind to new perspectives.
  • Give thanks for the good and the bad things that happen in your life. This will keep you positive.
  • Focus on developing a good character.
  • Get to know yourself and love yourself unconditionally.
  • Make good friends. Be selective in who you can trust. 
  • Stay true to yourself and your convictions.
  • Be happy.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

My weekend in photos

I am having a fabulous time in Oaxaca. 

I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to meet new people, make friends and explore new places.

Everyday is so unique and beautiful. God has greatly blessed my life. 

Here is my weekend in photos:

At a Franciscan convent in Cuilapam

I've adopted a new attitude in life: Joie de Vivre!

A gypsy band playing near Santo Domingo.

Settlers of Catan night with friends. 

Visited the Santo Domingo museum today. 

The Baroque Architecture is so beautiful and elaborate.


Santo Domingo. My favourite place in Oaxaca.






I love the tranquility of this city.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

A quote

"The knowledge that God loves me casts out my tormenting dread of God: and when this is expelled, there is room for abounding love to God. As fear goes out, love comes in at the other door.

So the more faith in God the more room there is for soul-filling love.

Our soul is satisfied with marrow and fatness when we know that the whole heart of God beats towards us as forcibly as if we were the only creatures he had ever made, and his whole heart were wrapt up in us.

Love to God produces a desire to be with him; a desire to be like him, a longing to be with him eternally in heaven, and this breaks us away from worldliness; this keeps us from idolatry, and thus has a most blessedly sanctifying effect upon us, producing that elevated character which is now so rare, but which wherever it exists is powerful for the good of the church and for the glory of God."

---Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892)

Monday, October 21, 2013

This year

God has been very gracious to me this year.


I learned a couple of things that have benefited my personal growth and happiness:
  • I don't need to please people to gain their acceptance. I don't need people's acceptance to be happy. 
  • Love others selflessly and unconditionally. But it's equally important to love myself unconditionally.
  • The closer I am to God, the easier is for me to forget my past and embrace the present. 
  • Obedience is the key to success.
  • I've achieved a healthy level of emotional independence and confidence. 
  • I can control how people and events affect me. It's all based on my thinking and reaction. 
  • My life and character is the result of my conscious choices, thoughts, beliefs and actions. 
  • Life is beautiful again.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Oaxaca

It's been 13 days since I arrived to Oaxaca. But I feel that I have been here for months.

This city feels like home. People are friendly and warm, the food is delicious (I'm pretty sure I've gained 2kg) and the art scene is amazing. I feel so happy and content studying what I am passionate about, being with a supportive group of classmates and professors and living every day fully. 

I am taking Spanish Literature and writing lessons from a retired University professor. I am learning so much about the history of Indigenous peoples, the makeshift of their identity and Spanish grammar. I am also taking guitar lessons 2 times a week, learning how to cook Mexican food with my home-stay mom and teaching English at a Public Highschool (classes are as large as 40 students). I have been traveling extensively and volunteering at underprivileged communities. 

I cannot help but give thanks to God everyday for His grace and personal love in my life. 2 months ago I would have never imagined that my prayers could take me so far. God knows what I like and He has been very gracious for granting the desires of my heart. 

My faith has been greatly strengthened through this experience.

I also prayed to find a good Christian community in Oaxaca. Remember that I connected with a Pastor back in El Savador? He referred me to a missionary/linguist that is translating the Bible into Mixteco. Well, we finally met last week. Upon 1 day of meeting her, I agreed to go to Tlaxiaco (a small town in a mountainous/indigenous area). I know this sounds crazy because I usually don't give my trust to strangers easily. But we had SO MUCH in common - our love for languages, books, traveling, missions and culture. We are both nerds, so the 2.5 hour bus ride was quite fun. Anyways, while I was in Tlaxiaco, I met another missionary who have worked with indigenous communities for more than 30 years. When I asked her that I was looking for a Church and Christian friends, she kindly referred me to another missionary couple in Oaxaca.

We met yesterday, and I learned that these missionaries have been mentoring Church leaders and helping indigenous communities for more than 20 years. They belong to a Mennonite Brethren community (similar to my Church) and hold 'Bread-breaking' meetings (aka the Lord's Supper) every Sunday at a house church. I'm excited to attend their Church tomorrow!

God never ceases to amaze me. His love is so real. I'm so amazed by how He causes all things work together.

On another note, today we went to 'Hierve-el-agua'. Behold the breathtaking views: 



















































I will try to update more often, but there are so many things going on right now. I've been so busy, but SO HAPPY.

Life is good. God is good.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Reflections on Mexico City

Mexico City reminds me much of home.


















But it's actually a boisterous, larger, and a more vivacious version of San Salvador.

I came to Mexico with a lot of preconceptions about the country and the people. I heard a lot from my Salvadoran friends that Mexicans are more arrogant and haughty than people from our country. But I was wrong. They are actually very warm and genuine people.

We spent the first two days touring around Mexico City. I was blown away by the majesty and richness of its history and culture.

Coming from the "Modern World" and having lived through the Information Age, it is hard to grasp that there were civilizations who developed systems and technology that did things in a sustainable way. For instance, Teotihuacan built "floating gardens" in which they dug up the soil from the lake to grow crops and feed their population. Pretty amazing.

Let the pictures speak for themselves:

































 




















 
 

Friday, September 20, 2013

Vancouver so far

Before leaving El Salvador, I prayed really hard to God to make my experience in Vancouver a pleasant one. 

He answered my prayer. 

I am only staying in Vancouver for a month, and then I am going to Oaxaca, Mexico. I have tried to maximize my time here by drawing near to God every morning (as early as 6:00am), spending as much quality time with my friends and working really hard to get the best out of my teacher's certification program.







Friday, September 13, 2013

ITEM

I woke up early morning today. I was staying overnight at Camp Capilano with 15 other ITEM classmates. My eyes started to well up as I breathed in the fresh morning air and started to count my blessings.

God never ceases to amaze me by His personal love towards me.

During my sick leave back home, I was initially doubting whether I would be a good educator or not. I faced a lot of challenges, but the Lord constantly reassured me that this is the path I should take. After a local missionary trip with my High School Christian friends, my heart was greatly burdened by seeing the needs of the children. We went to a small town to evangelize, and I observed that many of these children were neglected and barely knew how to read. Yet I was deeply touched by their purity and fervent desire to know God.

I prayed to God in my heart..."Lord, here I am. Send me."
 


Days later, I received an email from SFU Faculty of Education informing me about a vacant position for ITEM (International Teacher Education Module), a teaching program which requires 2 months of field school in Oaxaca, Mexico. I quickly drafted a cover letter, applied, prayed and waited.

1 week passed by...

And I was accepted.

[Mind you, I applied to both UBC and SFU Education back in January. I was accepted into UBC, but I was not too excited about the program because I heard that SFU's PDP was better. I was wait listed in SFU (#33) and had lost hope to get in. Yet God knew the desire of my heart.]

After 1 week of getting accepted into the program, I met a pastor through a close friend who knows a missionary in Oaxaca who is translating the Bible into an Indigenous tongue. I contacted her already, and we will meet in October. Hopefully, we can collaborate together (finally putting my linguistic skills into practice!) and bring back impoverished children back to God.

I'm also enjoying my program immensely. Their holistic approach of teaching has helped me understand the purpose of education and what kind of teacher I want to become. My cohort is made up of fun, kind and down-to-earth people. I enjoy being with them so much. We bonded and opened up to each other during the retreat. It's wonderful to see how God brings together people from all paths of life for His purpose. Even though we've been together for 2 weeks, I feel safe and a deep sense of belonging within my peer group.

I can't wait to go to Mexico. Life is truly exciting.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Rose of Zion

Out of darkness,
The Rose of Zion has blossomed into life.
How beautiful and glorious she stands,
Rejoicing over her new found freedom.

Though her vale of tears have watered her night and day,
She is no longer called Mara,
For the light of truth shone through.
Now her life blooms with delight.

How she rejoices in the truth!
How she hopes in the best in life!
O great faith that openeth her eyes.
O great love that faileth not. 

More musings

"I held you in my arms and did not want to let you go."






















I stayed over my cousin's place for a couple of days in Fontana (California) and met my beautiful niece, Ariella.

She is so precious...

Recently, I've had deeper realizations on life.

The more I understand God's heart and His love, the easier is for me to treasure people and love them for who they are.

I understand that we are a fallen race. We are not perfect. But we are still precious. Every human being is worthy of love and acceptance.

Love is what makes life beautiful. 

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

This Wonderful Break has come to an End

Today, I flew to Los Angeles (transit to Vancouver), and decided to stay a couple of days with my cousin and meet my newborn niece. After a 5 hour flight, I got off the plane, rented a car and drove down to Fontana. Along the way, I prayed with thankful tears to God, thanking Him for restoring my health, mind and spirit.

(The latter part of the trip was spent singing and dancing to Spanish music. I've learned to have fun with myself once in a while.)

In short, I have learned A LOT during this much needed break. I learned very important lessons. God has been very gracious to me during this time of weakness, and once again...He has swept me off my feet with His personal love towards me.

Here is a summary of the things I have learned that has made me a better person:

Fear is optional. Fear can come as a feeling, but you can easily overcome it if you decide not to succumb to it. Courage comes when you face your fears, not when you avoid them.

Your mind should be a fortified city, not a broken door: I learned that I have control over negative thoughts and emotions. The key to this is awareness and discernment. Once I know that this thought is harmful to my mind, I immediately block it. God gave us a spirit of self-control. So use it.

Love yourself unconditionally. People in your life will always come and go. The person who will always be there for you (other than God), is you! This Summer, I became my own best friend, and promised myself to fight for my own happiness, well-being and self-respect. No one else will do it for you.

Love your neighbour as yourself: Love is like a mirror. If you don't love yourself, it will be very difficult to love others. When you truly love yourself, your capacity to love others will expand. Remember, love is about seeking the goodness, edification and joy of others. Don't confuse it with lust, which seeks to satisfy carnal and evil desires.

You are responsible for your life. Are you stuck in a situation that you don't want to be? Do you hate your job? Do you want to accomplish your goals but you are just a wishful thinker? You have the power to change things. God has entrusted this life to you for a reason. And you must live it well. Don't settle for mediocre because you will never be happy. Trust me.

We were called to Freedom: Often, I encounter people who live under society's expectations, and are afraid to take risks. They sometimes are too afraid to face life that they rather live under other people's shadows. But you have to realize that this is your life! YOURS, not theirs. God gave us the amazing gift of free will to choose what we love to do, and who we want to love.

Obedience and Humility are the key to success: Ego and pride are the most destructive forces of this planet. Arrogant people rarely accomplish much. I learned that obeying God's word and having a humble attitude is the only way that I can live up to my full potential and love others selflessly.

Love deeply. Love intensely: Love is what makes my life so meaningful and beautiful. Love is the greatest truth in the universe. Love is the most honourable legacy that will remain after you pass away. Life is short...so love deeply and love intensely. To give is more blessed than to receive.

I've learned a lot more but it will take hours to write it all down. All in all, God is good. He is a wonderful teacher and a wonderful healer. I am so thankful for my illness, and so thankful that He humbled my heart so that I can learn and apply these lessons in my life with an obedient heart.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

10 quirky habits


Since this topic is trending on Facebook (but I don't want to appear obnoxious), I decided to write down 10 quirky habits of mine:

  • I love driving in the rain with the classical radio on, and just letting my thoughts run deep. And I love to pray in the car. I love heavy rain.
  • I would speak in fluent English in a conversation, and then insert a random Salvadorean expression (in Spanish) to try to illustrate a situation. But then I forget that the listener does not speak Spanish, and apologize afterwards (happened multiple times...so embarrassing).
  • I'm really anal about grammar and punctuation. I constantly stop myself from correcting other people's grammar. I'm an English Language Major.
  • I'm an old soul. Most of my favourite authors and poets are dead. I love vintage fashion. I hear old songs and watch old movies. I minored in History.
  • Whenever I order coffee, I like it simple and light. Medium roast with light cream and no sugar. 
  • I like to keep my fingernails short and groomed. I think long nails are gross.
  • I have the weird habit of quoting authors or TV characters at random moments during conversation. I also quickly pick on literature, historical or pop culture references. 
  • I love to travel. Traveling makes me feel alive. 
  • I've been blogging since I was 15. Writing is my favorite hobby. 
  • I sing too loud on the shower. 
Kandom photos: Today's morning swim was glorious. We went to a natural spring water pool to swim. I love El Salvador.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Musings

Life is quite interesting.

Nobody taught you how to figure out your life. There was no manual attached when you were pushed out of your mother's womb. But rather, you find yourself in the loving arms of the Heavenly Father who has sustained you to this very day.

And then, there are those dark little moments. You are lost, but you find yourself in the most unexpected manner. Amidst tears and laughter, you recognize your own humanity -- you are not perfect, but you are indeed wonderfully and fearfully made. Your pride is broken by life's sorrows and sufferings. Your soul is sanctified in your tears and sleepless nights. You fervently sing with gratitude to that loving Father who has guided you gently to the truth.

You are humbled. And in your humility, you gain freedom and joy.

In silence, you hear the universe echo melodies of His divine love.

You discover that you are not alone. There are other human beings singing the same bucolic song like you. You discover that everyone, regardless of creed, race or shape, is made of the same precious substance inside. You learn to lay aside your differences, and embrace each other with love.

The greatest truth in this universe is love. Everything will pass away, but love is the greatest.

Kandom photos: I've been in touch with nature during these 5 months back home. A series of contemplative measures has led me to a deeper understanding of life and the universe. 


Saturday, August 17, 2013

Honour your father and your mother

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."
(Exodus 20:12)

My lovely parents are my greatest blessing in life. Their hard-work, honesty and kindness have inspired me to become a better person. They have endured a lot in the past, but they are now very happy and successful people.

I know that I will not have them forever. So I try my best to enjoy every moment with them, and show my love and appreciation for them. I don't want to regret that I did not spend enough time with them.

Young adulthood is so interesting. Life challenges makes you go back to your parents for advice with a humble heart. Result: maturity and wisdom.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Meditations on a Monday morning

[While taking a walk under the Eucalyptus trees reading the Book of Revelations, beautiful thoughts fill my mind.]

Our lives come to full fruition when we seek to glorify God and stop doing things for our personal gain or to please men.

It has been the desire of God since eternity to eternity for men to glorify Him. He will not rest until He gains our hearts. To love Him is to glorify Him.

At the early age of 24, I realized that I cannot depend my happiness on men. Men live under the fallen state, and are bound to disappoint me. I should lean my understanding and heart towards God, and work hard for His dream which is also my dream and happiness.

I cannot put my expectations on men. To expect others to change for my happiness would be unfair for them. I can only accept them for who they are and love them. This shall be done under the motivation of glorifying His name.

What will I render the Lord when I see Him? Will I be able to say: "You have given me much, and I have given you also much in return. I cast my crown before You". Or will I be ashamed and say: "I'm sorry, Lord. I did not trust in Your promise and ran away. My life was a waste because of my lack of faith".

We are accountable before God and not before men. Keep that in mind and you will live your life differently.

Selah

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Conversations

Two gypsies sit with their guitars after playing Flamenco on a beautiful Thursday afternoon.

"Are you a sensitive person?"
"Yes."
"Don't confuse sensitivity with vulnerability. Being sensitive does not mean that you are weak."
"..."
"You should seriously let go of all the phantoms of the past. There are just shadows. They don't exist, yet they are hindering you from experiencing life and happiness."
"I've been trying."
"Do you want to be healed?"
"Yes."
"Letting go and taking responsability for your life is part of maturity. I went through a similar experience than you. But guess what? Yes, you were hurt. But you only get hurt when you allow them to hurt you. But shake it off, woman. You deserve to live! You are a woman of God. You are beautiful, intelligent and caring. It's God's will for you to live a good life, full of abundance and happiness. Whatever harms you, does not come from God."
*Smiles*
"You have power over your thoughts and emotions. The Lord already overcame everything for us. But you have to live it out. You have to display that faith through your actions and decisions in life. Think of the children you will be helping. They need you. They need to see Christ in you. You can't preach and not be able to prove it with your life and actions. God needs to use you because there are very few people like you. You are a sensible person, so make sensible decisions"

He flings his arms up in the air and starts to dance. "Live, woman. You deserve to be happy!"

That night I finally let go of all the phantoms of the past. I made the decision that I will no longer allow them to harm me. No more.

Next morning, my back pain disappeared. I felt a great relief.

I was healed.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

My Father's Teachings

"Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck." (Proverbs 1:9)

Being home means spending lots of time with my parents. What I appreciate about my parents is that they are very kind and down-to-earth. I love them and admire them so much.

My dad has given me much useful advice on life. I thought that it would be a good idea to share it in my blog. Even though he only studied until 4th grade, his wisdom, hard-work and determination has made him a very successful man. Much of his teachings come from his life experince. However, I find that much of his principles are influenced by Confusius and Lao-Tze. Real wisdom derives from distinguishing what is right and wrong, and choosing to do what is right. Therefore, keep your moral compass strong.

Here are some of his advices that he has been teaching me since I was a small child. They didn't make much sense until I've reached early adulthood. I wished I heeded his advice earlier on, but it's never too late.

"Don't think too much. Life is pretty simple. Be a good person and you will experience good things."

"Don't be lazy or you will be despised by people."

"People don't like it when others are better than them. It's part of their nature. Therefore, be humble and sincere."

"Don't brag or boast about your possessions or accomplishments. People will envy you and hate you for that."

"Never owe anything to anyone. Pay your debts on time."

"Always think about the other person's needs first. Always yield and be kind."

"Never take advantage of people. People are not dumb. If you take advantage, you will lose their trust."

"Family should always be priority. Money comes and goes, but family always stay."

"Angry people do not accomplish much in life. Learn to tame your anger. To lose your temper is to lose respect."

"You don't have to be really smart or beautiful to be successful. Most successful people are successful because they are hard-working, honest and determined."

"Keep all your promises or you will lose credibility."

"Work hard and help people out. Respect is earned...not a given."

"Be honest and never lie or cheat. If someone entrusted a task to you, do it well. To be lazy is cheating."

"Treat people well and they will treat you well back. If not, kill them with kindness. Good will always be stronger than evil."

"Make sure you live a balanced life. Eat well, rest well, work hard. Arrange your time well and you will live well."

"Be happy and enjoy life."

Education in school may give you skills that will later help you in your professional life. But education in the family leaves a legacy behind. Your parents play an integral part in shaping your principles, values and world view. Sadly, parents nowadays are too busy to educate their children and leave this job to educators. But keep in mind that teachers will never be able to replace their role as a parent.

The lack of effort in parenting shows in children's behaviour. Children nowadays lack discipline and are more self-centered than previous generations. If we are not willing to assume responsability and sacrifice our time, it may affect a whole generation.

I have always believed that children are our best investment. Parents should put more effort in educating and spending more time with their children.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Sketches

[Mapping out Vancouver]

2010AD

I remember taking the Number 19 during my college days. The bus is notorious for its rude drivers, pickpockets and incessant chatter. The bus receives its passengers in the most automated manner: Exhale, kneel down, beep beep beep, back up and off again. Yet the thing would breathe life sometimes; the trolley pole would set off sparks, bounce like an elastic band, impelling a rather disgruntled driver to take out his weathered thick gloves leaving a bus full of impatient passengers behind.

The bus meanders down Kingsway, past Rona Home Centre, past Famous Foods, past Fraser Street until it finally merges with Broadway...a major artery that cuts across the city of Vancouver. Stepping down, I would find myself in the intersection between East and West. To my right is Our Town -a homey-pseudo-hipsterish coffee place that serves decent Americano. To my left is Thai Son, a tolerable Pho place which would burn down years from now on an unforgettable night of fire frenzy - five trucks lined up gushing water through the roof while curious residents gather around to watch the building ablaze.

I have always considered this city as a unified fragmented universe. Somewhat like a Ten Thousand Village Store inside a city of glass. To the South, between 50th and Main, you have little India -the colourful saris, exotic mannequins and goods evoke a foreign air around the area. Walk East a few blocks (well, 15 blocks to be exact), you find yourself in Victoria Drive -a mini China town with Mandarin-speaking walk in clinics, herbal stores, cha chaan teng and scrumptious Asian bakeries. Chong Lee is around the corner with discount vegetables and fruits on Wednesday nights. Travel north and you will hit Kingsway again.

As you travel along Kingsway and merge into Main Street, you will see that the urban landscape morphs into a greyer area. Driving past the Pacific Centre Mall, past Keefer St, past East Pender and into East Hastings, you will find people pushing their carts with empty bottles and their belongings, asking for cigarettes or spare change. This area, better known as Downtown East Side, is noted for its high incident of drug use, violence and crime.

Turn left and you will eventually reach Downtown Vancouver. High-end stores along Robson present a stark contrast to the grim alleys surrounding East hastings paved with shattered glass and needles. Women cladded on Lululemon power walk on Saturday mornings while busily texting on one hand and holding a Grande Caramel Macchiato on the other. The smell of molten caramel and rocky mountain apples waft through the air. Street musicians play classical pieces with their hungry dogs staring apathetically at passer-bys.

The number 19 eventually discharge into Stanley Park -a lush forest of pines, chubby squirrels and totem poles. I never quite understood how a city could be so diverse and unique at the same time. Yet the city stands quite confined in its own realm, unaffected by the outside world, still and sterile. There was hardly any change during the years I was there, except for the construction of the Canada line and the burning down of Taco del Mar in West Broadway. Even though I know Vancouver's topography like the palm of my hand, and have mentally mapped out all its sights, sounds, scents and vibes into random compartments of my brain, I never understood the residents of the city. People are nice and very polite, but quite shy. Conversations waver around superfluous small talk -the weather, the Canucks, coffee, shopping deals and so on. People tend to be a little bit self-conscious and overly cautious not to offend or step into somebody's toes. Yet I never fathomed why the city erupted into rampant destruction and mayhem after losing the Stanley Cup. It was only a Hockey Game, after all.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Home

Coming back home was probably the best thing that happened to me this year. Initially, I wasn't very happy with the decision. But the Lord knew the need in my heart.

These 5 months back in El Salvador has been filled with love, laughter and bliss. My heart is filled with gratitude and reverence when I see all my family and friends healthy and happy. I will remember this year as one of the happiest years in my life.

As I said to one of my close friends...10 years from now, I will look back and remember that I was a happy and beautiful young woman blessed beyond measure.

This bible verse pops into my mind when I think about all the good times:

Make us glad according to the days You have afflicted us, And the years we have seen evil. 
(Psalm 90:15)

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Hope

Life has taught me:

There are always new beginnings.
You can change your dreams and aspirations.
You can love again.
God is with you always. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

Two songs under the stars

Tonight, I sat on the roof with my guitar and started to randomly sing some "praise tunes". The Lord inspired me with these two beautiful songs.

The songs are dedicated to the children in Madagascar. I still remember when I taught them songs about the Father last year in French. The joy is still in my heart. I miss them and love them so much.

"In Your Love"

This song was inspired by my days in South Africa. We used to go on a circle and sing our hearts to God. The melody of this song is influenced by Xhosa native tunes.

In Your love,
I can rest.
Cast away,
All my fears.
Spread my arms,
Embrace You.
Cry to You...
Close to You...

Close to You
(We sing the Song of Songs)
Love You
(We open up our hearts and praise)
Thank You
(We give You honour and praise)

"Jesus, great is Your faithfulness"

This song was inspired by Psalms 36. I drew the words from this Psalm since I experienced The Lord's faithfulness this year. In my weakness, I tasted His grace. In my wandering, He sought after me. The melody is rather "praise-tune-esque" à la Keith Green. But uplifting and inspiring nonetheless. If you are lucky enough you will see me sing it in public one day haha.

Jesus, You are worthy
Great is Your faithfulness.

As high as the mountains,
As deep as the soundless sea.
Oh Lord...Oh Lord...
Great is Your faithfulness.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Sketches

"After years of solitude and profound sadness, I have come to appreciate the little things that make life beautiful. It's as if I've been walking on a desert alone with God for years, and suddenly come across a beautiful country where honey and milk abound in great measure. The mirage of forced superficial relationships were replaced with genuine friendships and kindness. I find myself dancing and singing to delicious music, where I use my hands and feet to express all those unearthed and suppressed feelings I've stored during those lonely years in the desert. I find belonging and healing in those home cooked meals, deep conversations and long afternoons spent in the company of loving family and friends. Their love and appreciation has helped me restore my humanity, as I've come to deeply realize that every human being on this planet is worthy to be loved and accepted for who they are.

At the end of every day, my heart is filled to the brim with gratitude towards God for bringing me back to life. It's good to become your old self again, and have the strength to wake up every morning with a smile, praising God for feeling alive again...

I cannot imagine life without the life part."

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Conversations

[Suchitoto Trip with a dear friend]

"Yeah, I didn't like it there."
"You seemed so withdrawn every time you came back. I was wondering what was going on but was afraid to ask."
"Coming back has made me feel alive again. It's like I'm back to my old normal self."
"I'm glad you are happy. Your friendship is so precious to me. I wish you wouldn't have to go back."

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Heaven must feel like home

It feels quite unreal to be in a familiar place and feel so at home again.

The blissful sound of rain, an old friend calling you up for a home cooked meal, laughter and endless laughter...I wished this life would have no end.

My body, spirit and mind has experienced much healing from the love, acceptance and support from my close friends and family. I am infinitely grateful for their lives. God knows how much I needed this.

As I was driving home tonight, I imagined heaven to be a place where you can call home. A place where you can joke around with Peter the Apostle, wade your feet on the river of life and skate around the streets of gold. With countless stories to share and countless memories to be made, we would need eternity to enjoy ourselves...

Monday, July 15, 2013

Meditations on a Monday midnight

Before time began, You have already written my life story in Your heart.

Why should I worry when I know that You have the best stored for me?

All challenges and blessings work for my good...

You have crossed the paths of many people into my life so that I could have a deeper understanding of Your love and purpose.

I praise You for You are the mastermind of my life story. The author and finisher of my faith.

To count my blessings would be like to count the stars of the sky. They far outnumber my troubles and problems.

Great is my God. Great is my Father in Heaven. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Conversations

(Two philosophers sit outside the Library. One is holding a guitar while the other one is listening intently. Circa 2007AD)

"I don't want to live in passive existence."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want life to come by without me exerting actual control over it. I want to go out there and live life. I am tired of being passive all the time."
"..."
"My parents don't know about this. But I'm sick of being sheltered."

[6 years later, this conversation is still on my mind...inspiring me to live life fully.]

Friday, June 21, 2013

Flamenco

Yesterday I had my first Flamenco Guitar lesson. It was a liberating experience.

I've always wanted to learn percussion guitar. Ever since I watched Rodrigo and Gabriela live in Bonnaroo, I knew that it was the kind of style I want to adopt in my music. I am leaning more towards the indie/folk/flamenco style.

After the lesson, the owner and my guitar teacher played a few songs for me. My mind was blown away by the intensity of expression and passion in the songs. I realized that I have never sang with much emotion before. Flamenco is truly the music of the soul. I'm obsessed.

Music makes me feel alive. Whenever I am creating music with my hands or voice, I feel as if I am in sync with the universe. 


I am learning this song on Monday. So excited!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Karla

I don't remember the exact moment I met Karla, but I knew that we would be lifelong friends.

We met at a youth group. There was something that I loved about youth group culture: the interesting messages, the genuine fellowship and fun games. But above all, the most encouraging factor was to see young people who loved God and served Him passionately. We eventually stopped going, but our friendship blossomed and remained.

Karla would come over my house and we would make Italian food. I would go over her house and we would cook Salvadoran food. Afterwards, we would read Proverbs, meditate and share from our hearts. She introduced me to different personality theories and how to read people. We would also discuss literature and practice French. Our friendship was golden.

Of course we had our fair share of romantic interests and heart-breaks. We even had nicknames for the guys we went out with:  "the Jewish", "the Jehovah Witness", "the Guitarist", "the Non-stop Talker", "the Combo", etc. We had a varied taste back then, but none of them worked out. I was there for her when she broke up with her boyfriend. She was there when I broke up with my best friend. We would read Psalms and pray whenever we went through major ordeals in our lives.

Our friendship evolved over the years. Even though I went to Canada to study, I would always meet up with her whenever I visited home. She is one of the few people that I really care about in my life.

This year I had the honour to embark on a journey with her to celebrate her 30th birthday and 7 years of our friendship. And as she said, once we hit the 7-year mark, this friendship is bound to last for a lifetime.

Monday, April 22, 2013

A note

[To the J family]

My life changed after the first day I met you. There was something about your genuine smile, your kindness and positive outlook in life that made a great impact in me.

Whenever I hit low...I remember you and I smile. People like you reminds me what is the meaning of true Christianity. Your compassion, candid warmth and understanding has inspired me to become a better person.

Thank you for always being there for me.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Thoughts to ponder

Never underestimate the power of prayer.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sketches

I am producing batches of poetry during these bouts of melancholy.

[Inspired by Song of Solomon...."I was asleep, but my heart was awake."]

Logré verla...
Reposada sobre la roca
Serena y estrellada
Como la luna que no duerme,
Con una hermosura que no muere.

Logré soñarla...
Cantando a la luz del alba
Anhelando ver la faz de su Amado,
Llorando por el tiempo perdido,
Añorando para vivir de nuevo a Su lado. 

Despierta Sulamita, y ven. 

Logré alcanzarla...
Con mís reproches de celos, 
Corrí hasta conquistarla, 
y la consolé entre mis brazos.
"Alientate Sulamita, y vive."

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Sketches

(Inspired by Pablo Neruda)

Te recuerdo como eras,
Ojos verdes con sabor a miel,
Piel de sueños y
tu habla hermosa.

Alma pura que destila
Una sinceridad que no duele,
Un amor que no apena,
Un recuerdo que no muere.

Fuistes, eres y serás
Una memoria que no desfallece.
Me das un sinfín de alegría y nostagia
En dias de amarga locura como estos.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Words from the Beloved

I woke up at 2:00am this morning,
and heard a soft voice echo through the chambers of my heart...

"I love you in spite of your weakness.
I will love you forever.
May you live in the truth always."

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Sketches

Si es cuestion de confesar,
parece que la vida es un sinfín de ilusiones,
arraigada en la luz de la realidad.

¿Y qué si alcanzo mis sueños
Pero no Tu corazón?

Si pudiera salir de mi propia prisión,
Esta amarga oscuridad, este miedo de
Fracasar.
¿Cúal es el miedo de despegar,
Cuando tienes plumas para volar
Y sueños que realizar?

Aun si volare al extremo del alba,
Tu mano no me dejará.
Aun si descendiere a las profundidades del Sheol,
No me desampararás.

Selah.

Quiero contemplar Tu hermosura y
apreciar lo que nadie había descubierto antes de Tí,
Te quiero conocer y deleitarme en Tu felicidad.
Quiero entender lo que Tu tienes preparado para mi vida y eternidad,
Quiero triunfar contigo a mi lado.

Monday, February 25, 2013

[i carry your heart with me]


i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Conversations

While running errands with the brother

"We all move on in life."
"Yeah."
"So do you still think about them?"
"I have honestly moved on. My mind has deliberately forgotten about all those events. The pain is gone."
"What's that verse again?"
"Ciertamente olvidando lo queda atrás, extendiéndome a lo que está delante..." (Filipenses 3:13)
We chuckle and smile. 

We often quote this verse in unison during our conversations.

I love my brother.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Monólogo

Nunca entendí porque pasan ciertas cosas.

Solo sé que Dios está en control.

Dios se encargará de mi vida. Debo de confiar en Él y Él hará.

No tengo miedo de fracasar. Siempre puedo levantarme y tratar de nuevo.

No me preocupo. No me voy a dar por vencida.

Nosotros debemos de tener fe y obedecer Su voluntad.

Él quiere que seamos felices. Hay que poner nuestro esfuerzo en buscar nuestra felicidad.

Estoy muy agradecida de tener una familia que me apoya.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Home

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Meditations on a Thursday Evening

Life is too short to worry about what other people think about you.

Eternity is too long to live with regret.

Life is a fraction of eternity, yet it is the most decisive time period of our human destiny.

So what really matters in life?

I was thinking deeply upon human motives and actions. Motives can be driven by fear or passion. Sometimes we dare not to do or say things because we are afraid of what other people think about us. But does it really matter? So what if someone thinks lowly of you? What's so great about criticism?

And the people who are courageous to live out the truth and their dreams are the people who have transformed our world.

Think of Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Joan d'Arc - they defied their fears and their critics.

Truth and love will always triumph.

Live to what is true. Be honest to yourself.

Think, think deeply.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Un pensamiento

La vida Cristiana es alegre, sana, abundante y llena de gozo. No debería de ser pesado o llena de carga.

Si tu no estás feliz, examina tu camino. Encomienda tu camino a Dios y Él hará.

Dios quiere gracia y no legalismo. Una relación y no religión.

Tu fe es reflejado en tu vida.

Piensalo.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Conversations

[With a friend, at our usual coffee place]

"Why do we always want to be somewhere else that is not here?"
"We think that the grass is greener on the other side."
"I read from Horace that no one is quite happy with the life he has chosen or stumbled upon."
"But if you really think about it, life is okay here in Canada. You're safe. You have food, water and shelter. You should be happy."
"That's true."
"I realized that you can control your thoughts. Whenever you think you would be happier elsewhere, try to rephrase your thoughts. Think more positively."

Monday, January 14, 2013

Becoming

I was thinking about my life goals today. After coming back my trip to El Salvador and Honduras, I have been thinking a lot about the future. How do I envision myself in 3-5 years time?

-Responsible Educator
-Passionate Thinker
-Preacher
-Creative Writer

There are a lot of things going on. I got sick on Friday night...I haven't been so ill for such a long time. I guess all the work/study/travelling does wear one off! But I give thanks that God gave me precious brothers and sisters to take care of me. I feel better today, but I still need more rest.

Thank you for your prayers!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Para una verdadera amiga

Son personas como tú que hacen mi vida más feliz. Gracias por valorarme por quien soy. Gracias por estar tan pendiente de mi bienestar y felicidad. Eres un sol. Mi compañia en mis momentos de soledad. Mi alegría en esta ciudad tan fría.

Gracias, amiga por ser tan especial. Tu bondad me ha inspirado a ser una mejor persona. Contigo he logrado olvidarme del pasado y ser más fuerte.

Gracias por existir.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

New

I have come to a point in life that I have fully come to realize what it is to

Be alive.

To breathe in and breathe out, and be completely content with life.

The past year has taught me lessons that I have never learnt before. Trials tend to push you to the brighter side of life.

I give thanks for all things.

Though my past may be plagued by negativity and sorrow, I promised myself to forget the past and march on. There are greater things ahead.

I promised myself to live and believe in the truth only.

And there is a moral dimension in believing in what is true. It brings joy to the soul, light to the mind and goodness to the heart.

For the new year I want to be closer to God and build more meaningful relationships with those around me. I plan to exercise more, eat healthier and take good care of myself. I want to learn more things, do more, give more and take more risks.

Basically, I want to live life to the fullest.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Honduras that I never met

She held my hand and would not let go.

She led me downstairs to the main hall. We were sleeping over that night. The little girl, barely 3 years old, gave me a tour around the orphanage.

Situated in the lofty mountains of Reynel Funez, the orphanage serves as a home to 26 children aged 3 to 20. Many of these children were neglected and abandoned by their parents from a very young age. My heart was moved by compassion as I listened to their heart-breaking stories during our short visit.

"I lived in the cemetery. My parents would often bind me up and beat me up with chains."

She lifted up her shirt and showed us her scars.

Honduras is known for being the most violent country in the world. The country has been governed by corruption and political instability during this past decade. These problems, together with people's indifference has instilled an attitude of apathy towards these social problems.

There were scenes during my stay that stirred many feelings within me:

The teenage girl walking under the rain begging for money in the streets. 

The drunkard scavenging for food in the dumpster near the place we were staying. 

The silent pain and longing for love from the gaze of a child in the orphanage. 

There were moments of frustration as I saw this happening. I have seen poverty in El Salvador but to see such degree of poverty happening to our Honduran neighbours was quite overwhelming. And to see that the lack of education and opportunities trapped these youths into the poverty cycle was quite sad...to say the least.

I talked to Isaac and Olga, the home parents, during my last day in Honduras. I expressed my interest in opening a school in Central America with the purpose of preaching the gospel, and empowering students for change with quality education and good values. They said that there is a great need in Honduras. The educational system has been downgraded by the lack of resources and poor administration from the government. Teachers and students have been affected. Because teachers are not paid, there are no classes. And with no classes, there is no education. 

But I believe that there is hope. With God everything is possible. It was very encouraging to see that there are still good-hearted individuals like Isaac and Olga who are willing to sacrifice their life to offer a home to these girls. Their job is not easy, but they do everything out of love. They have inspired me to answer my calling. And if God has called me for His will, He will be responsible to the end.

We love because He first loved us (1John 4:19).


Saturday, December 22, 2012

A kind of beauty I have never seen before

Yesterday I went to the Ancient Mayan Ruins (Ruinas de San Andres) with my best friend to celebrate Baktun. 

The celebration marked the end of the Mayan Calendar and welcomed the dawning of a new era. It was amazing to see people coming together to celebrate a culture that has been suppressed by the government for almost a century. And it is interesting to see how the Indigenous identity has been revitalized by activists and passionate individuals in the recent years. One of my cousins is working with bilingual schools that teach Spanish and Nahuatl to small indigenous communities.

This event made me appreciate a kind of beauty that I have never seen before. I've been much exposed to consumer culture all my life. And according to consumer culture, the definition of beauty and wealth is prescribed by the material things you own. However, I find that this construction of meaning rather artificial and fake. And I have also observed that Salvadoran culture in particular, tend to imitate the American hegemonic culture.

I have come to appreciate the natural beauty that surrounds us. I have come to appreciate the spirit of giving and family that unites us as a country. I have come to appreciate that we do not need much to make us happy. It is possible to be perfectly content with the little things we have.

Sometimes we have to lay aside our ethnocentric views to appreciate a kind of beauty that we may have never seen before.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Home and Family Revelations

According to the Mayan Calendar, it's the end of the world but I'm extremely happy. 

By extremely happy, I mean waking up in the morning and smiling to myself because I can enjoy the warm weather and the sweet company of my family.

Being home has made me deeply reflect on the things that God has given me. I cannot help but give thanks all the time.

Both of my parents are alive and healthy. They are able to support me in my studies. I have an extended  family and friends who love me and appreciate me (and vice versa). I have enough food, water and a cozy bed to rest at night.

It's the end of the world but I have never felt so content in my life. Hehehe.

Just a few days ago I visited my grand-aunt (my grandmother's sister) and my cousin at their home. She showed me my great-grandmother's picture and told me stories about her.

She was born in Mazatan, Mexico...a small agricultural town in Chiapas near the border of Guatemala. She met my great-grandfather (a Chinese merchant) and moved to El Salvador because he liked it there. After some time, they decided to move to China with their 10 children to settle. Sadly, my great-grandfather died of some pulmonary disease leaving 10 of their children fatherless. She made the difficult decision of going back to El Salvador taking only 2 children with her. She always planned to go back but due to the circumstances (World War 2, money), she had to stay in El Salvador.

The rest of the children were raised by my great-grand aunt (my great-grandfather's sister) who was a school principal. She opened a school during the Second World War! My dream is deeply related to my family.

Another interesting thing that I found out about my family is that we have Spanish and Jewish ancestry. According to some records, my ancestors were Jewish people who lived in Southern Spain (near Andalucia).

Therefore, I have a quite mixed heritage. And I am entitled to carry a Spanish last name (since Jewish people pass on their last names through their mothers).

It's so interesting to find out things about your family that you never knew before. Who knew that I have Jewish ancestors? Who knew that my great-grand aunt was a school principal? I am so proud of my family heritage. And I think that I will embrace my Spanish side more and more. 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Meditations on a Tuesday Afternoon

For years I was deceived and blind.
Yet beneath my timid exterior, rested a strong and beautiful spirit.

I was asleep in the dark but Your truth shone through.

I wandered, and You found me.
I hungered, and You fed me.
I was dirty, and You bathed me.
I was tired, and You gave me rest.
I was homeless, and You made a home in me.

You have been good to me, O Lord.

Let not my spirit depart from Thee.