His Grace

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and insight He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory." Ephesians 1:7-12

The sickness of the soul

A sweet love which bloomed in Spring,
grew strong in Summer's radiance,
but weakened in Autumn's grievance,
withered and faded with winter's sting.

Thoughts that spread like cancer,
Bombards my feelings with vile ulcers.
My soul is weary, sick and beaten.
I stand asunder, sad and broken.

I Wake and Feel the Fell of Dark

I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day ,
What hours, O what black hours we have spent
This night! what sights you, heart, saw; ways you went!
And more must, in yet longer light's delay.
With witness I speak this. But where I say
Hours I mean years, mean life. And my lament
Is cries countless, cries like dead letters sent
To dearest him that lives alas! away.

I am gall, I am heartburn. God's most deep decree
Bitter would have me taste: my taste was me;
Bones built in me, flesh filled, blood brimmed the curse.
Selfyeast of spirit a dull dough sours. I see
The lost are like this, and their scourge to be
As I am mine, their sweating selves; but worse.

Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844-1889)

Victory

My love,


Where is your strength?
Where is your armour and sword?
Where is your joy and peace?
Do not slack, or sleep
or pause a moment,
for the enemy is fierce.
He is most threatened when you are doing the will of God.
Be alert and do your first works.
Draw near to Me,
Fill your spirit with the daily bread
and follow the footsteps of the flock.
I desire that you conquer all things
with overwhelming victory!

Hold me.

Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
Psalm 73:23

Your love never fails to make me smile :)

Today, I was on the verge of being extremely emotional (ugh mood swings), but God cheered me up by answering my prayers and by the beautiful autumn weather.

-After praying this morning, Access and Diversity finally replied my email. I will be contacting my clients shortly, and I will be tutoring English and History to UBC students. I'm excited.
-I made the stupid decision of not buying a book at the beginning of the term. Turns out that they are not selling at the UBC bookstore anymore. After frantically searching all bookstores in town, I desperately sent an email to my History professor. I prayed on the bus and when I reached home, I checked my email and my prof said that he will lend me the book for the weekend. PHEW.

Conclusion: I love God. He answers my prayers and cheers me up with surprises. Life would be totally different without Him. I'm glad He is in my life.

A little lovely thought

I was pondering upon the significance of love in our lives. Here's a little trail of thoughts:

Love
makes things easier,
make conversations less awkward,
helps us to develop our potential,
makes us more human,
is the source of our inspiration,
is divine
helps us gain confidence and value,
erases all bitter feelings,
fully accepts and rejoice,
makes us smile,
brightens our day,
gives us hope,
gives us strength to endure,
can change a person,
can change the world,
can make a big difference,
can help us look beyond a person's fault,
gives us great hope in life,
saves us from despair,
motivates us,
and encourages us.
Love is the greatest.

I concluded that in order to make the world a better place, we need to give our love to others. We need to love ourselves and one another. But where does this love come from? It comes from God and it overflows to our lives. True love can only come from God.

Love can make a difference. If we loved the poor, we would not stand indifferent and not help them. If we loved our parents, we would try our best to hold our temper and not yell back. If we loved our friends, we would support them and accept them. If we loved those around us, everyone will be happier and more content.

I still need to learn how to love. It's a process...a bit painful, but totally worth it!

Refleción del día

Estas 2 semanas han sido totalmente horrible para mí. Como Mr. Palencia diría: Brutal!

Tuvé que escribir 4 parciales, un ensayo de 1500 palabras y preparar una presentación de grupo en 8 días. Estuvé trabajando a más no poder. Mis ojeras son tamaño elefante, he perdido peso y no estoy en un buen estado de animo. Quiero dormir y comer bien pero el trabajo me lo impide.

Pero a pesar de todo esto, Dios es misericordioso hacia mi. Hoy, después de pasar seis horas en la biblioteca (subterranea, para más fregar!), alcé mis ojos al cielo, y vi nubes cirros pintados de color rojo y oro. Al otro lado, estaba la luna llena, esclarecida y hermosa, reposando en la tenue luz otoñal. El cielo se vistió de gloria. Dios me alegró el día a través de su maravillosa creación.

Y ahora estoy aquí, reflejando sobre mi vida. Estoy viviendo en un desbalance. Me estoy preocupando en salir bien en mis estudios que a veces me olvidó de las cosas importantes en la vida. Me hace falta acercarme a Dios y congregarme en Su familia. Por primera vez en muchos meses, falté a la noche de oración. No tengo fuerzas suficiente fuerzas la verdad. Dios me entiende.

Gracias a Dios que ya casí termino. Solo me falta terminar esta presentación y me voy a tumbar en mi cama. No aguanto. Quiero abrazar mi libertad y a mí Dios mañana en la mañana cuando me presente ante Él. :)

Que rico expresar mis pensamientos en Español.

To Solitude

O solitude! if I must with thee dwell,
Let it not be among the jumbled heap
Of murky buildings; climb with me the steep,—
Nature's observatory—whence the dell,
Its flowery slopes, its river's crystal swell,
May seem a span; let me thy vigils keep
'Mongst boughs pavillion'd, where the deer's swift leap
Startles the wild bee from the fox-glove bell.
But though I'll gladly trace these scenes with thee,
Yet the sweet converse of an innocent mind,
Whose words are images of thoughts refin'd,
Is my soul's pleasure; and it sure must be
Almost the highest bliss of human-kind,
When to thy haunts two kindred spirits flee.
----John Keats

Prioridades en la vida

A veces me pongo a pensar, cuales son mis prioridades en la vida.
Estas son mis top 5:

-Dios, mi Gran Amor.
-La gran comisión, mi deber como Cristiana (Mateos 28:16-20)
-Mi Familia y su bienestar.
-Mis estudios y mi carrera.
-La felicidad (la cual se deriva de mi relacion con Dios y los demas)

My hands are in the air, catching the rays of life

Life is a dream

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
---The Tempest
Act 4, scene 1

Kandom note: Mario Vargas Llosa won the Nobel Prize in Literature! I'm so proud of Spanish speaking authors. Estoy orgullosa de Latino America!!

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell's
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves -- goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying What I do is me: for that I came.

I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is --
Christ. For Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces.
---Gerald Manley Hopkins

The first time I read this poem, I thought "what the...?" but I have been digesting its contents over the years. More so, I have found myself in this poem. We live life for a reason. Hopkins called it "inscape" -our inner capability of doing of what we are for. The 'selves' refers to us; each one of us do according to what we are.

Yes, we are humans, we make mistakes. But we have Christ that "plays in ten thousand places." This is my favorite sentence in the poem, since it has so many layers of meanings. It could either mean that we are created in God's image, or God is playing an important role in our 'selves.' He is constantly molding us into perfection.

Even though I feel like I have no particular direction in life, useless and sometimes stupid for not reaching my goals, I will try my best to live my life as a human being. I will love others just as I love myself. I will serve and love God above all. I hope you will do too.

So yeah, it can pretty sum up that I am an existentialist. I believe that there's a meaning of life, after all.

(written in February 23, 2007)

A thing of beauty

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkened ways
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon,
Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon
For simple sheep; and such are daffodils
With the green world they live in; and clear rills
That for themselves a cooling covert make
'Gainst the hot season; the mid forest brake,
Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms:
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms
We have imagined for the mighty dead;
All lovely tales that we have heard or read:
An endless fountain of immortal drink,
Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.

---John Keats
(1795-1821)

Ode to my brother

You are like a familiar song,
filled with tender memories
flowing in my veins.

Although we are far apart,
we are close at heart,
Close in dreams, close in blood.

A Nocturne, a love song for Jesus.

[Because the Honey milk tea is keeping me awake, and because my heart is filled with sweet thoughts from the Bread-break meeting.]

The Son of God, my true Beloved,
Conquered Sin, Satan and Death for me.
Oh valour act! unfailing love,
That melts my iron heart into
A fountain of golden joy.

Oh Son of man…
My heart is Thine.
Reign in me,
And rejoice exceedingly
In Thy holy dwelling place,
My home with Thee.

Holy Sonnet XV

Wilt thou love God, as He thee? then digest,
My Soule, this wholsome meditation,
How God the Spirit, by Angels waited on
In heaven, doth make His Temple in thy brest.
The Father having begot a Sonne most blest,
And still begetting, (for He ne'r begonne)
Hath deign'd to chuse thee by adoption,
Coheire to His glory, and Sabbaths endlesse rest;
And as a robb'd man, which by search doth finde
His stolne stuffe sold, must lose or buy it againe;
The Sonne of glory came downe, and was slaine,
Us whom He had made, and Satan stolne, to unbinde.
'Twas much, that man was made like God before,
But, that God should be made like man, much more.

---John Donne

Kandom note: He is my inspiration

Do not worry

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not of more value than they?
Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

“Therefore do not worry, saying,
‘What shall we eat?’ or
‘What shall we drink?’ or
‘What shall we wear?’
For after all these things the Gentiles seek.
For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.
Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

(Matthew 6:25-34)

The ever expanding universe

While I was sitting in the bus, a phrase came into my mind which lead me into an epiphany.

"The whole universe is moving, and we are moving too."
--Teilhard de Chardin (1881-1955)
Jesuit priest-scientist.

The idea that the universe is expanding faster than the speed of light simply blows my mind. New matter is created every second. And we are also moving forward with the whole universe. This thought reminded me that God is moving forward with His plan, and that we are moving forward with Him too.

Like the expanding universe, our inner man, created in the image of God, can have an infinite potential to expand in goodness and love. We were created for Him and by Him; surely we must be the best creation. This is the value of man.

Azul y Blanco

Happy Birthday, El Salvador!!

Four years ago, I was in my last independence day assembly, holding the Honduran flag while the boys in my class cross-dressed and danced a folk dance. Little did I know that it would be my last time celebrating Independence day in my beloved country.

I miss that kind of stuff.