Like a Mountain

I love you like a mountain

God of all comforts

My comfort in my suffering is this:
Your promise preserves my life.
Psalm 119:50

Only God can see the tears we don't show to others.
Only God knows a side we don't want other people to know.
Only God understands our troubles and worries.
Only God can take away our sorrows.
Only God can mend a broken heart.
Only God can save us from our distress.

Christmas Carols

Christmas season is here! I would like to list my favourite Christmas carols:

O Three Kings All time favourite because of the catchy melody. Learned it in 2nd grade thanks to Mr. Maddox.

Oh Holy Night - Simply precious.

Carol of the Bells -reminds me of the Midnight before Christmas.

Ding Dong Merrily on High- A charming song.

Away in a manger - One of my first christmas carols.

Campanas de Belen - A Spanish Carol.

The First Noël - Born is the King of Israel.

Feliz Navidad - Feliz Navidad, Prospero año y felicidad.

"I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart!"

Cántico Espiritual

Canciones entre el alma y el Esposo

Gocémonos, Amado,
y vámonos a ver en Tu hermosura
al monte y al collado,
do mana el agua pura;
entremos más adentro en la espesura.

Y luego a las subidas
cavernas de la piedras nos iremos,
que están bien escondidas,
y allí nos entraremos,
y el mosto de granadas gustaremos.

Allí me mostrarías
aquello que mi alma pretendía,
y luego me darías
allí Tu, vida mía,
aquello que me diste el otro día:

El aspirar del aire,
el canto de la dulce filomena,
el soto y su donaire
en la noche serena,
con llama que consume y no da pena.
----San Juan de la Cruz.

Unión con Dios

Y no se aquieta en este primer grado de purificación, sino que entra en la vía iluminativa, en que la noche de la fe es su guía, y como las potencias de su alma son fauces de monstruos abiertas y vacías, que no se llenan menos que con lo infinito, pasa más adelante, y llega a la unión con Dios, en el fondo de la sustancia del alma, en su cetro más profundo, donde siente la respiración de Dios; y se hace tal unión cuando Dios da al alma esta merce soberana que todas las cosas de Dios y el alma son en transformación participante, y el alma más parece Dios que alma, y aun es Dios por participación, aunque conserva su ser natural, unida y transformada, como la vidriera la tiene distinto del rayo, estando de él clarificada.
--Menéndez Pelayo

His Grace

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and insight He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory." Ephesians 1:7-12

The sickness of the soul

A sweet love which bloomed in Spring,
grew strong in Summer's radiance,
but weakened in Autumn's grievance,
withered and faded with winter's sting.

Thoughts that spread like cancer,
Bombards my feelings with vile ulcers.
My soul is weary, sick and beaten.
I stand asunder, sad and broken.

I Wake and Feel the Fell of Dark

I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day ,
What hours, O what black hours we have spent
This night! what sights you, heart, saw; ways you went!
And more must, in yet longer light's delay.
With witness I speak this. But where I say
Hours I mean years, mean life. And my lament
Is cries countless, cries like dead letters sent
To dearest him that lives alas! away.

I am gall, I am heartburn. God's most deep decree
Bitter would have me taste: my taste was me;
Bones built in me, flesh filled, blood brimmed the curse.
Selfyeast of spirit a dull dough sours. I see
The lost are like this, and their scourge to be
As I am mine, their sweating selves; but worse.

Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844-1889)

Victory

My love,


Where is your strength?
Where is your armour and sword?
Where is your joy and peace?
Do not slack, or sleep
or pause a moment,
for the enemy is fierce.
He is most threatened when you are doing the will of God.
Be alert and do your first works.
Draw near to Me,
Fill your spirit with the daily bread
and follow the footsteps of the flock.
I desire that you conquer all things
with overwhelming victory!

Hold me.

Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
Psalm 73:23

Your love never fails to make me smile :)

Today, I was on the verge of being extremely emotional (ugh mood swings), but God cheered me up by answering my prayers and by the beautiful autumn weather.

-After praying this morning, Access and Diversity finally replied my email. I will be contacting my clients shortly, and I will be tutoring English and History to UBC students. I'm excited.
-I made the stupid decision of not buying a book at the beginning of the term. Turns out that they are not selling at the UBC bookstore anymore. After frantically searching all bookstores in town, I desperately sent an email to my History professor. I prayed on the bus and when I reached home, I checked my email and my prof said that he will lend me the book for the weekend. PHEW.

Conclusion: I love God. He answers my prayers and cheers me up with surprises. Life would be totally different without Him. I'm glad He is in my life.

A little lovely thought

I was pondering upon the significance of love in our lives. Here's a little trail of thoughts:

Love
makes things easier,
make conversations less awkward,
helps us to develop our potential,
makes us more human,
is the source of our inspiration,
is divine
helps us gain confidence and value,
erases all bitter feelings,
fully accepts and rejoice,
makes us smile,
brightens our day,
gives us hope,
gives us strength to endure,
can change a person,
can change the world,
can make a big difference,
can help us look beyond a person's fault,
gives us great hope in life,
saves us from despair,
motivates us,
and encourages us.
Love is the greatest.

I concluded that in order to make the world a better place, we need to give our love to others. We need to love ourselves and one another. But where does this love come from? It comes from God and it overflows to our lives. True love can only come from God.

Love can make a difference. If we loved the poor, we would not stand indifferent and not help them. If we loved our parents, we would try our best to hold our temper and not yell back. If we loved our friends, we would support them and accept them. If we loved those around us, everyone will be happier and more content.

I still need to learn how to love. It's a process...a bit painful, but totally worth it!

Refleción del día

Estas 2 semanas han sido totalmente horrible para mí. Como Mr. Palencia diría: Brutal!

Tuvé que escribir 4 parciales, un ensayo de 1500 palabras y preparar una presentación de grupo en 8 días. Estuvé trabajando a más no poder. Mis ojeras son tamaño elefante, he perdido peso y no estoy en un buen estado de animo. Quiero dormir y comer bien pero el trabajo me lo impide.

Pero a pesar de todo esto, Dios es misericordioso hacia mi. Hoy, después de pasar seis horas en la biblioteca (subterranea, para más fregar!), alcé mis ojos al cielo, y vi nubes cirros pintados de color rojo y oro. Al otro lado, estaba la luna llena, esclarecida y hermosa, reposando en la tenue luz otoñal. El cielo se vistió de gloria. Dios me alegró el día a través de su maravillosa creación.

Y ahora estoy aquí, reflejando sobre mi vida. Estoy viviendo en un desbalance. Me estoy preocupando en salir bien en mis estudios que a veces me olvidó de las cosas importantes en la vida. Me hace falta acercarme a Dios y congregarme en Su familia. Por primera vez en muchos meses, falté a la noche de oración. No tengo fuerzas suficiente fuerzas la verdad. Dios me entiende.

Gracias a Dios que ya casí termino. Solo me falta terminar esta presentación y me voy a tumbar en mi cama. No aguanto. Quiero abrazar mi libertad y a mí Dios mañana en la mañana cuando me presente ante Él. :)

Que rico expresar mis pensamientos en Español.

To Solitude

O solitude! if I must with thee dwell,
Let it not be among the jumbled heap
Of murky buildings; climb with me the steep,—
Nature's observatory—whence the dell,
Its flowery slopes, its river's crystal swell,
May seem a span; let me thy vigils keep
'Mongst boughs pavillion'd, where the deer's swift leap
Startles the wild bee from the fox-glove bell.
But though I'll gladly trace these scenes with thee,
Yet the sweet converse of an innocent mind,
Whose words are images of thoughts refin'd,
Is my soul's pleasure; and it sure must be
Almost the highest bliss of human-kind,
When to thy haunts two kindred spirits flee.
----John Keats

Prioridades en la vida

A veces me pongo a pensar, cuales son mis prioridades en la vida.
Estas son mis top 5:

-Dios, mi Gran Amor.
-La gran comisión, mi deber como Cristiana (Mateos 28:16-20)
-Mi Familia y su bienestar.
-Mis estudios y mi carrera.
-La felicidad (la cual se deriva de mi relacion con Dios y los demas)

My hands are in the air, catching the rays of life

Life is a dream

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
---The Tempest
Act 4, scene 1

Kandom note: Mario Vargas Llosa won the Nobel Prize in Literature! I'm so proud of Spanish speaking authors. Estoy orgullosa de Latino America!!

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell's
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves -- goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying What I do is me: for that I came.

I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is --
Christ. For Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces.
---Gerald Manley Hopkins

The first time I read this poem, I thought "what the...?" but I have been digesting its contents over the years. More so, I have found myself in this poem. We live life for a reason. Hopkins called it "inscape" -our inner capability of doing of what we are for. The 'selves' refers to us; each one of us do according to what we are.

Yes, we are humans, we make mistakes. But we have Christ that "plays in ten thousand places." This is my favorite sentence in the poem, since it has so many layers of meanings. It could either mean that we are created in God's image, or God is playing an important role in our 'selves.' He is constantly molding us into perfection.

Even though I feel like I have no particular direction in life, useless and sometimes stupid for not reaching my goals, I will try my best to live my life as a human being. I will love others just as I love myself. I will serve and love God above all. I hope you will do too.

So yeah, it can pretty sum up that I am an existentialist. I believe that there's a meaning of life, after all.

(written in February 23, 2007)

A thing of beauty

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkened ways
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon,
Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon
For simple sheep; and such are daffodils
With the green world they live in; and clear rills
That for themselves a cooling covert make
'Gainst the hot season; the mid forest brake,
Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms:
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms
We have imagined for the mighty dead;
All lovely tales that we have heard or read:
An endless fountain of immortal drink,
Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.

---John Keats
(1795-1821)

Ode to my brother

You are like a familiar song,
filled with tender memories
flowing in my veins.

Although we are far apart,
we are close at heart,
Close in dreams, close in blood.

A Nocturne, a love song for Jesus.

[Because the Honey milk tea is keeping me awake, and because my heart is filled with sweet thoughts from the Bread-break meeting.]

The Son of God, my true Beloved,
Conquered Sin, Satan and Death for me.
Oh valour act! unfailing love,
That melts my iron heart into
A fountain of golden joy.

Oh Son of man…
My heart is Thine.
Reign in me,
And rejoice exceedingly
In Thy holy dwelling place,
My home with Thee.

Holy Sonnet XV

Wilt thou love God, as He thee? then digest,
My Soule, this wholsome meditation,
How God the Spirit, by Angels waited on
In heaven, doth make His Temple in thy brest.
The Father having begot a Sonne most blest,
And still begetting, (for He ne'r begonne)
Hath deign'd to chuse thee by adoption,
Coheire to His glory, and Sabbaths endlesse rest;
And as a robb'd man, which by search doth finde
His stolne stuffe sold, must lose or buy it againe;
The Sonne of glory came downe, and was slaine,
Us whom He had made, and Satan stolne, to unbinde.
'Twas much, that man was made like God before,
But, that God should be made like man, much more.

---John Donne

Kandom note: He is my inspiration

Do not worry

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not of more value than they?
Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

“Therefore do not worry, saying,
‘What shall we eat?’ or
‘What shall we drink?’ or
‘What shall we wear?’
For after all these things the Gentiles seek.
For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.
Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

(Matthew 6:25-34)

The ever expanding universe

While I was sitting in the bus, a phrase came into my mind which lead me into an epiphany.

"The whole universe is moving, and we are moving too."
--Teilhard de Chardin (1881-1955)
Jesuit priest-scientist.

The idea that the universe is expanding faster than the speed of light simply blows my mind. New matter is created every second. And we are also moving forward with the whole universe. This thought reminded me that God is moving forward with His plan, and that we are moving forward with Him too.

Like the expanding universe, our inner man, created in the image of God, can have an infinite potential to expand in goodness and love. We were created for Him and by Him; surely we must be the best creation. This is the value of man.

Azul y Blanco

Happy Birthday, El Salvador!!

Four years ago, I was in my last independence day assembly, holding the Honduran flag while the boys in my class cross-dressed and danced a folk dance. Little did I know that it would be my last time celebrating Independence day in my beloved country.

I miss that kind of stuff.

Amor Eterno

Podrá nublarse el sol eternamente;
Podrá secarse en un instante el mar;
Podrá romperse el eje de la tierra
Como un débil cristal.
¡todo sucederá! Podrá la muerte
Cubrirme con su fúnebre crespón;
Pero jamás en mí podrá apagarse
La llama de tu amor.

---Gustavo Aldolfo Bécquer

Kandom note: I used to hate reading his poetry in Spanish class (9th grade). But I know find his poetry quiet good now.

Colossians 3:13

Bearing with one another,
and forgiving one another,
if anyone has a complaint against another;
even as Christ forgave you,
so you also must do.

Never give up

This video left me in tears. I am so touched by the love of Abba.

Psalm 139:17-18

Dear you,

I think of you all the time.
Of all the things in this universe,
I choose to think of you...
Of how your day went,
Of all your wants and needs,
You.
I love to think of you...
Of how your hair falls in your face.
Of how you greeted Me this morning
Of how you smiled when you looked at the sky.
These thoughts bring me so much joy,
I cannot describe.
You are adorable. I cannot stop thinking about you.
I love you.

Yours,


God.

Father-Daughter love

How precious that Abba gave me a father on earth to experience fatherly love.

After missioning and hearing so many sad stories about broken families, I realized how blessed I am to have such a good father. Even though my dad hasn't believed yet, he is a very good father. I was always well-fed, loved and cared throughout my childhood. He worked hard to provide the best for my brother and me. He was always there to mediate between my fights with my brother and mom. Even though there may be language barriers, my relationship with my dad has been relatively good.

I love to hear stories about his past. I guess that's why I'm so interested about history. He would tell me how he got arrested by the communist because they suspected him to be a capitalist. Or how he tried to swim his way to Hong Kong to get away from the poverty and misery in communist China. He would also entertain me with stories about people he met. He is hilarious. And he is also the most politically incorrect person I know. He would bluntly blurt out racist, random remarks about people. I crack up whenever he says "peasant."

I really hope that he will believe in God. He has a lot of doubts and wrong concepts in his mind but he believes that there is a God. Please keep praying for my dad so that he can accept Jesus into his life.

Cirrus clouds

Cirrus clouds are my favourite type of clouds.

They are the highest clouds in the atmosphere.
(I learned that in 5th grade)

Sometimes, I image God doodling in the skies to cheer me up.
(I once saw a heart...true story)

And sometimes when I'm sad, I look up to the skies, and remind myself that life is still beautiful.

An Ode to the stars in heaven (an analogy to unrequited love)

Oh Starlight,
Small and bright,
Shining day and night
through distant skies...
But who knows that up close
There is a stellar explosion at your core,
Shimmering lights in a suspended celestial ore.
How lovely and comely you shine!
You've inspired an inner glow
kindling pleasant dreams within
and a deep sense of wonder...
Yet you're a million light years away
for me to reach the heavens,
and make you mine.

The Moonstone

This passage speaks my mind:

'Suppose you were not in love with me? Suppose you were in love with some other woman?'
'Yes?'
'Suppose you discovered that woman to be utterly unworthy of you? Suppose you were quite convinced that it was a disgrace to you to waste another thought of her? Suppose the bare idea of ever marrying such a person made your face burn, only with thinking of it?'
'Yes?'
'And, suppose, in spite of all that - you couldn't tear her from your heart? Suppose the feeling she had roused in you (in the time when you believed in her) was not a feeling to be hidden? Suppose the love this wretch had inspired in you? Oh, how can I find words to say it in! How can I make a man understand that a feeling which horrifies me at myself, can be a feeling that fascinates me at the same time? It's the breath of life, Godfrey, and it's the poison that kills me- both in one! Go away! I must be out of my mind to talk as I am talking now. No! You mustn't leave me -you mustn't carry away a wrong impression. I must say, what is to be said in my own defence. Mind this! He doesn't know -he never will know, what I have told you. I will never see him - I don't care what happens - I will never, never, never see him again! Don't ask me his name! Don't ask any more! Let's change the subject. Are you doctor enough, Godfrey, to tell me why I feel as if I was stifling for want of breath? Is there a form of hysterics that bursts into words instead of tears? I dare say! What does it matter? You will get over any trouble I have caused you, easily enough now. I have dropped to my right place in your estimation, haven't I? Don't notice me! Don't pity me! For God's sake, go away!'

The Moonstone (pg 242)
Wilkie Collins

I can only imagine [Planet K version]

I can only imagine
the day when I see Your face.
Years of friendship and love
unutterable by words,
will be expressed with ineffable joy.

On that day,
My toes will be hovering over the skies
while Your strong arms support me,
And You will whisper to my ear
That all along You were there for me,
I was and will always be in Your heart.

I will soon realize the beauty of this journey
and how my faith has brought me
finally Home.

It will be the day of gladness of our hearts.


Kandom note: this poem has been in my mind for weeks...
I finally wrote it down in my blog.

"Batter my heart, three person'd God"

BATTER my heart, three person'd God; for, you
As yet but knocke, breathe, shine, and seeke to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow mee,'and bend
Your force, to breake, blowe, burn and make me new.
I, like an usurpt towne, to'another due,
Labour to'admit you, but Oh, to no end,
Reason your viceroy in mee, mee should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weake or untrue.
Yet dearely'I love you,'and would be loved faine,
But am betroth'd unto your enemie:
Divorce mee,'untie, or breake that knot againe;
Take mee to you, imprison mee, for I
Except you'enthrall mee, never shall be free,
Nor ever chast, except you ravish mee.

John Donne

Summer awesomness

Yay for Summer adventures!

I just booked my ticket to Toronto. I will be flying early June to visit 2 of my close friends. I'm super excited to hang out with them. I can't wait to see them.

Then, I will rush back to write my research paper and prepare for my English final (June 17th). I will then fly to Fiji (June 19th) and stay there for 2 whole months!!

And I also have other fun stuff to do in Vancouver such as BBQs, cookouts, cycling and hanging out at the beach. We use these activities to reach out to new friends. Plus, the weather is amazing.

Summer is the most wonderful time of the year!

Out of Egypt

Egypt = El Salvador (1st stage)
Wilderness = Vancouver (2nd stage)
Promised land = ?????? (3rd and final stage)

Out of Egypt
Across the great divide
I shake the dirt of my sandals
As I run into the wilderness
In search for the Promised land.

YHWH is my rock. Living waters flow into my heart.
He is the cloud of glory that shields me day and night.
Honey and milk flows from His river of delight.

Although this land is a desert.
I feel like I live in paradise.
I might walk in circles for years...
But YHWH is my Patient Guide.

Fullness of Joy

I'm done with my final exams! Praise the Lord :)

I'll be leaving tomorrow for a vacation trip in Hawaii with my mom.

Please pray for our safety, and that we may have an awesome mother-daughter bonding time.

Anyways...

May you enjoy the presence of the Lord, and live in the fullness of His joy everyday.

Rejoice always!

You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11)

Metaphor and Imagery

Here is the first draft of a rather disjointed poem of mine.

A strong wind may shake a tree
but not blow it away.
Snowing petals cover the earth and sky,
Its sweet fragrance spreads at night.
New leaves are budded. Old ones are gone.
All the trees of the field will clap their hands.

Even during the trials of our lives,
Love and joy are found.
Let us all look on the bright side.

Yay

I just wrote 2 finals today. Yep...2 down and 2 more to go!

I walked out of the exam room with a big smile in my face for my first exam because I received an 84% in my research paper! After countless and countless of hours of research, and reading in the University's Rare and Special collection, it finally paid off!

This is indeed something worth celebrating. In the past, I used to get B and B- (that Latin American History essay HURT my feelings). I've also got As for small papers. BUT this is the very first A- for a big research paper.
Yay!

Okey doke. I need to continue studying for my next History final. The professor is pretty intense so I really need to study for it.

The Call

This song summarizes my feelings for the past 3 years



I'm suddenly feeling nostalgic today. All these memories have been flooding my mind like a tsunami...

But the Lord reminded me to live in the present, and in the fullness of His joy.

Ephesians 3:17-19

That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.

Research

I'm chaining myself to a desk so that I can finish writing my Social History paper (3000 words!)

And we (my roommate and I) brought so much food into the library (pasta, sandwiches, snacks) for our survival. It looks like we are going to a picnic.

So far I have 889 words. Meh.

I promised myself to stay off blogger, facebook, youtube and wikipedia (I read their articles for fun...sad)

And look what I'm doing here...updating my blog. Hahaha

OK. I'm OFF.

God's Awesomness in the Earthquake

I recently received an email about a missionary who experienced the tremors of the Chilean earthquake. It's amazing how God gave her peace during such a turbulent time.

Please continue to pray for the people in Chile. May the Lord open their hearts for the gospel.

-------
Well, Saturday morning started with a real shake. I had worked until 8:15 pm on Friday then I went to eat with some friends. I got home around 10:30pm and hit the sack. I was exhausted. However, 3:24 in the morning I was shaken from my bed. I felt the shaking and for some reason realized that this was more than the tremors I had felt previously in Guatemala. I jumped out of bed and thought that I should get a robe on and some shoes. I grabbed my cell phone to see if it worked and of course the service was gone and then I went to stand in the door way between the bedrooms. Yes, they had sent out an article recently explaining that you are to lie down on the floor and wait but all that would go through my mind was what I had heard over and over, stand in the door jam. As I stood in the door jam on the 2nd floor of my 19 floor apartment building I felt the movement of the building and heard things falling and sliding. The thought went through my mind that if this was the real thing the other 19 floors would come donw on me but at the same time I felt the Lord there with me.

Then the shaking stopped and it was a feeling of "what now"!!. I decided it was time to get dressed so that I could get out of the building. I groped around in the dark as all of the electriciy, phones, and cell phones were out of commission. I remembered where my clothes were, it does pay to drop the on the floor sometimes and pick them up later, and my shoes. I headed to my front door. In the movement of the building the door was jammed. I couldn't get out.

I started seeing people leaving our building and gathering out front and in the distance I saw one of our ISC couples coming up the visitor parking lot to see if Jackie B, the other singel missionary in my building, and I were ok. He threw me a flashlight and told me to get the screwdriver and take the dead lock off. He came up the stair well and between the two of us he got the dead bolt of and I headed out the door with my purse. There is a sense of desperation when you can't get out of your front door and you wonder if there will be another tremor or if things may still fall.

We waited around 4 hours to go back into the building because of aftershocks and to make sure there was no gas leaks. Around 7:30 the logistic leaders of our mission came by to make sure we were all ok. Of course we all had to tell our story.

We headed back to my apartment around 7:30 to wait and see about water, electricity and TV. We wanted to get the news of what had happened. We knew it was big but never thought it was THAT big. We were just amazed that we had survived in these high rise aparments with the magnitude of the quake. Yes, they do follow the building codes down here.

Saturday I was able to get a hold of family, Guatemala missionaries and Guatemalan friends. We had to go to the office and use a line that was not connected to any cell phones, cable phones, or internet phones. Thank god for that phone. We headed back to my apartment Saturday night and the four of us, the couple from the apartment next door, Jackie B, and I stayed in my apartment. We felt better together since we didn't have lights and the building was still swaying. You feel it a lot more the higher up you are. The couple lives on the 9th floor and Jackie B lives on the 8th floor.

Was I scared, I really can't remember all that went through my mind. I knew it was really different than the tremors in Guatemala. I had seen the sites from Haiti. I don't want to do it again, but I felt a peace that I think God gives us when we are alone.

Sunday we got electricity back and I helped Jackie B clean up her apartment. It looked like a gang and gone through with a base ball bat. It was just amazing the things that broke and the things that were left.

Yesterday I got my tv and internet back, so I also have my internet phone. You can call me if you desire after I get home.

By the way we had another pretty good tremor today, Wednesday the 3rd. Mother earth is not finished shifting.

Thanks for your prayers. God's hand was upon me and all of the other missionaries.

Unusual instruments

I have a natural attraction towards any kind of instruments. Here is a list of unusual instruments that has recently caught my interest:

Musical Saw - Playing music from a saw? Seriously? You either hate it or love it.

Handbell - Never heard of one until I saw this video. Sounds beautiful.

Bowed guitar - Sounds like the cello. I might try it one day.

Olympic hype

I've been out all day.

As in 8:30 am to 12:00 am.

I worked from 9:30am to 2:00 pm. Then I hung out with my English classmates in Richmond, which was pretty cool. We had bubble tea, rode a ferris wheel and hung out in the olympic tents. So asian...lol

Okay. It's late and I just wanted to drop a quick update to remember this day :)

1 Corinthians 13 (Planet K version)

If I could speak all the languages of the world
and if I had all the money to give to the poor
but have not love...
It would mean nothing.

If I had all the knowledge and faith to move continents
and if I possessed the skills and talents to attract masses
But if I did not love You...
It would all be in vain.

If I was to be the best member in the church
and attended all the meetings
and spoke great things about Your name
But if I did not love my brethren
It would all go to waste.

Love suffers. Love forgives and forgets.
Love is unconditional. Sincere. From the heart.
Love is patient and kind. It does not provoke anger.
Does not envy. Does not think/do evil.
Love rejoices in all things. Bears all things with joy,
Hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

Regocijaos!

You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken,"
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate";
But you will be called, "My delight is in her,"
And your land, "Married";
For the LORD delights in you,
And to Him your land will be married.
For as a young man marries a virgin,
So your sons will marry you;

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So your God will rejoice over you.

Isaiah 62:3-5

Alzando manos caidas

Alzando manos caidas,
cuando la situación no da esperanzas
cuando la desesperación entra al alma
e inunde el cuerpo y el pensamiento
y apaga la alabanza.

Pero la fe es un grano de mostaza
que lucha, crece y vence.
Con el amor de Cristo
Sí se puede!
No pierdas aliento.
No temas.
No dejes que el enemigo te robe
el gozo, el amor y la esperanza.
La noche es corta, se acerca el Día.
Alza tus manos caidas y confía nuevamente
En el Autor y Consumador de nuestra fe,
Cristo Jesús.
Amen.

I tend to write poems when I'm sad. Let's say that I've been very sad lately :(

Bendita la hora

Bendita la hora en que te conocí
Bendita la estación en me enamore de Tí
Bendito el segundo, el momento en que entregue a Tí.

Tantos años, pero Tu amor hacia mí sigue siendo
tan nuevo, tan fuerte, tan apasionado...
como aquel primer momento en que nuestras almas se unieron.

Te adoro Señor!
Tu eres mi ser, mi vida, mi todo.


---Inspired after breaking the bread and drinking the cup.
In loving memory of Your glorious death and resurrection.

Angel

This is so 2001.

My favourite song back when I was in 7th grade.

Good times :)

Season of the Hand

The following is an excerpt of a short story written by Julio Cortázar "Estación de la mano" which the narrator tells of a mysterious disembodied hand that visits him for a period of time.

Season of the Hand by Julio Cortázar

I gave her names: I liked to call her Dg, because it was a name that only allowed to be thought of. I incited her vanity by leaving bracelets and rings on the table, spying her attitude with utmost secrecy. Sometimes I thought she would adorn herself with the jewelry, but she meticulously studied them without touching, like a skeptic spider; and although she put on the amethyst ring for a short moment, she abandoned it as if it was an explosive. I hurried to hide the jewelry in her absence and ever since then, she appeared to be much happier.

And thus the seasons declined, some became slender and other weeks were shaded with violent lights, as her visits became our ambience. The hand came back every afternoon, soaked by the autumn rains, I saw her rest on the carpet as she tediously dried her fingers, sometimes with sporadic jumps of satisfaction. During the frigid sunsets her shadow was stained in violet. I lit up a brazier on my feet and she curled and kept still, except when she received with careless displeasure an album with engravings or a wool ball that she liked to twist and tie. I discovered she could not stay still for long. One day she found a trough with clay and she rushed to it. She spent countless of hours molding the clay while I, with my back turned pretended not to care.

Naturally, she modeled a hand. I let it dry and I put in on my desk to demonstrate my appreciation towards her work of art. It was a mistake: Dg was annoyed at the contemplation of her petrified self-portrait. When I hid it, she pretended out of modesty not to see it.

My interest soon turned to be analytical. Tired of surprises, I wanted to know the unfortunate end of all adventure. Questions about my guest came into my mind: Did she vegetate, feel, understand, love? I made experiments. I observed that the hand was capable of reading but never wrote. One afternoon I opened the window and I placed a pen on the desk, blank pages and when Dg came in, I walked away so I that I would not burden her timidity. Through the keyhole, I saw her habitual paces; but then, hesitantly, she went to the desk and picked up the pen. I heard the screech of the pen and after I was held in suspense, I entered the studio. In diagonal and outlined letters, Dg wrote: This resolution dissolves the previous ones until there is a new order. I could not make her write again.

2010!!

Happy 2010 everybody!!

2010 marks the beginning of a new decade. In this decade, I'll probably:
1) finish my university degree
2) start my professional career
3) do more for the Lord!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I can't believe that the 2000's is over. It was an awesome decade...because I believed in God and grew a lot spiritually. I'm so happy that God revelaed Himself to me in 2007 and I finally found direction in my life.

May the Lord greatly bless this coming year and bring a BIG harvest around the world. He is coming SOON.

Fruits of the spirit

I've been looking for this verse for a while and found it last night when I stayed up reading the Bible. I would like to share it with you:

But the fruit of the Spirit is
love,
joy,
peace,
longsuffering,
gentleness,
goodness,
faith,
Meekness,
temperance:
against such there is no law.
(Galatians 5:22-23)

Abuela

Noviembre 30. El viento ruge incesablemente, soplando las hojas muertas de piso. La noche es larga y oscura. Las estrellas duermen y la luna se ha escondido.

Camino hacía la parada del bus. El frío me llega hasta los huesos y lucho contra el viento. Mi corazón palpita fuertemente al pensar que tú...ya no estas aquí. Mi padre me acaba de llamar, y me dijo que nos dejastes hace unos días.

Estoy sentada en el bus y los recuerdos inunden mi pensamiento. Me acuerdo aquella vez que me ensenastes a perginar, o aquella vez que me comprastes paletas en un dia de verano. Aquella vez en 2006 que me contabas sobre tu pasado, entre lagrimas y risas. Solo me dejaron verte un dia, y recuerdo tan bien ese ultimo día contigo. Leímos la Biblia y platicamos toda la tarde. Te hablé sobre el amor del Padre y tu rezastes el rosario.

Tres años despues y ya no te pude ver.

Y despues me doy cuenta, que la vida es fugaz. La muerte nos arrebata en un instante y nuestra existencia cesa de ser. La muerte es dura y cruel porque nos separa de nuestros seres queridos y de todo lo que hemos sido y amado en este mundo entero.

Me duele preguntar. ¿Donde estás abuelita? Yo sé que eras Católica pero no sé si aceptastes la salvación de Cristo. Quiero saber si estás en las manos de Dios ó lejos de Él.

No quiero estar aquí. Quiero estar en los brazos de mi madre y llorar al lado de ella. Necesito consuelo y hacer memoria de ti. Quiero guardar en mi mente, todas las tardes calurosas en Xiao Xing donde estuve a tu lado y de mi amada familia. Fueron cinco veces en que te vi y cinco veranos inolvidables a tu lado. Duele saber que la proxima vez que vaya, tu ya no estarás ahí.

Estoy orando por tí y mi familia. Te amo.

Luz Amable Palacios Chong

My grandmother recently passed away. My mother flew back to China to see her one last time...but couldn't make it due to visa problems. Please pray for her and her family and may God comfort their hearts.

I share so many precious memories with my dear boh boh. The first time I saw her was in 1993...I was 4 years old and all I remember was sitting by her side and listening to her stories. She was a strong women. Her mother (my great grandmother) left her when she was young with her siblings. She grew up in an orphanage and endured many things such as WW2 (Japanese invasion) and the Cultural Revolution.

My grandma, even though she was Catholic, was the first one to talk to me about God...she taught me how to do persinar..."in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen." It was the first time that I heard about the trinity God. Even though I converted to Christianity, I give thanks to her for introducing me to God.

The following is a short biography of my grandmother written by my brother. My apologies to all English Speakers but this is written in Spanish.

1 de Diciembre 2009.

婆婆…fue la primera palabra que me ensenaron para introducirme a esta persona tan querida, que aunque estábamos distante en espacio se sentía siempre…ese amor de familia y ese calor que muchas veces solo una abuela puede llegar a dar.

Recuerdo que la primera vez que ví a 婆婆 fue en el año 1993, en mi primer viaje a China. Nunca me la habían presentado personalmente porque cuando yo nací ella ya se habido ido de El Salvador para China. No me recuerdo si la había visto en foto antes de conocerla, pero si me causaba mucha emoción de conocer a mi abuelita y abuelito en aquel entonces.

Llegamos en barco de Hong Kong a la ciudad donde ella vivía con mi abuelito, la ciudad de Xiao Xing. Subir esas escaleras con las antiguas maletas pesadas a su apartamento que si mal no recuerdo era de color naranja gris. Ya al llegar a la puerta…si esa primera vez en que los vi a ellos dos, fue el inicio de cinco visitas, Pocas pero cada una llena de recuerdos y enseñanzas sabias que solo una abuela puede llegar a ensenar.

El saludarlos y verlos por primera vez era algo más que emocionante ya que eran mis abuelos, esas dos personas que siempre mencionaban pero nunca los había visto, y que si ellos no existiesen…yo tampoco lo haría.

Era medio día y ya tenían hasta el almuerzo esperando en la mesa para nosotros. Habían preparado entre los tantos platos huevo revuelto con carne, lo que más me ha gustado desde pequeño, era como que ya sabían que era lo le gustaba a cada uno, cosas que solo los abuelos hacen.

En esa primera visita pasamos un mes con mis abuelos. Esa fue la vez que pase más con ellos y fue tal vez donde más conocí a mi abuela aun siendo pequeño. Era una persona que le gustaba mucho tener las cosas en orden y que todos nos portáramos bien y que no causáramos problemas. Nos repetía una y otra vez aunque nos aburriera que debíamos estudiar para ser personas grandes en el futuro, y más bien ahora se lo agradezco que me lo haya dicho y me gustaría que en este mismo momento me lo repitiera. Nos enseno a respetar a nuestros padres, que apreciáramos lo que ellos eran y que los ayudáramos cuando pudieran ya que ellos se ganan la vida con sudor y esfuerzo día a día. Nos contaba lo difícil que era la vida antes en China para ellos, para mis papas y para mis tíos. Ella quería que eso nos sirviera para ver que tan privilegiada era nuestra generación de tener las comodidades que tenemos hoy. Sabidurías sabias que solo se las puede trasmitir una persona de esa grandeza y con un largo recorrido en el camino de la vida.

Mi abuela tiene una historia interesante, era hija de once hermanos, su mama (mi bisabuela) era mexicana y su padre (mi bisabuelo) era un chino que emigro a México. Sin embargo, en ese entonces los chinos fueron expulsados de México por razones políticas y ellos se trasladaron a El Salvador, lugar donde he nacido yo y donde mi familia ha llamado casa.

Su estadía y niñez en El Salvador fue corta, ya que por decisión de mi bisabuelo decidió regresar a China para hacer una vida ahí. Mi bisabuelo había hecho algo de dinero que lo usaría para construir una casa en su pueblo natal jiujiang para que todos sus hijos crecieran conociendo de donde eran y quienes eran. Lo irónico fue que mi abuela termino aprendiendo a hablar Chino de por vida y se le olvido casi en su totalidad su lengua materna el español. Eso si, nunca perdió el buen gusto por la buena música en español y su cantante favorito era Julio Iglesias, era evidente que conocía que era la buena música.

Ya una vez establecidos en China por mala fortuna la prosperidad no les duro mucho a ellos. Mi bisabuelo falleció repentinamente y al mismo tiempo China estaba siendo invadida por Japon. Viendo la situación mi bisabuela solo podía llevarse de vuelta a El Salvador a 5 o 6 de los 11 hijos que había llevado a China. Mi abuela termino quedándose en un orfanatorio con sus otros hermanos y hermanas en China.

En mi quinta visita cuando fui solo por primera vez a China, ella me conto en detalle todo los momentos duro que tuvo que pasar durante esa época. Me conto entre lagrimas que durante esos días de niñez nunca probo una galleta, o que no había ni pasta de dental para cepillarse los dientes. Tuvo que trabajar y cuidar a los hermanos pequeños y ganarse la vida a como fuera para sobrevivir en tiempos tan difíciles. De ahí me enseno a ser ahorrador a apreciar lo que tenemos hoy y no desperdiciarlo, claro no solo lo predicaba sino que también lo cumplía. En cada visita me acuerdo que ella tenía todos los tubos de pasta dental planos, le sacaba hasta lo último. Irónicamente una semana antes que falleciera me acorde de ella y use un tubo de pasta dental y lo aplane hasta no dar más, al extremo que termine cortando la cola del tubo para sacar lo último que quedaba.

También fue en ese entonces donde se aferro más a Dios y confío todo en El. Es por eso que cada vez que la veía o la llamaba por teléfono me recordaba “siempre pidele a Jesus que te proteja y te ayude en tus estudios” Ademas de eso, tambien guardo bien claro la primera vez que me enseno a persignarme con el famoso “Del padre del hijo del espíritu santo amen” Aunque yo termine convirtiéndome en Cristiano y no me persigno mas, ese recuerdo siempre lo guardare. Espero que ante todo ella haya encontrado el verdadero amor y la salvación en Jesus.

Afortunadamente mi abuela encontró entre tanta dificultad un hombre que la amo y que ella lo amo hasta al final y ese es mi abuelito. Con el procreo tres hijas y tres hijos, siendo mi mama la menor. Ya que mi abuelo se caso con mi abuela que era mitad mexicana terminaron todos los del pueblo apodándolo el occidental fok (fan kui fok)

Juntos los dos pasaron por otra época difícil, el reinado comunista en China. Tuvieron que enfrentarse al hambre, al racionamiento, a los prejuicios y maltrato de los comunistas ya que ellos fueron estigmatizados como capitalistas y aun así lograron sacar a adelante a sus seis hijos. Mi abuela era una luchadora que nunca se rindió.

Tantos años estuvo en China que la vida le presento la oportunidad de regresar a la tierra que la vio nacer, El Salvador. Fue así donde empaco sus maletas y consigo se llevo a tres de sus hijos, mi tio menyi, mi tia soy heng y mi mama. Arribo a El Salvador y se reencontró con su mama y todos los hermanos que dejo de ver por más de 40 años.

Cuenta que durante esta visita a El Salvador ella logro recordar muy poquito de español que ella aprendió durante su niñez. Entre risas nos contaba como aprendió a decir los famosos “cheles” de los ojo.

Su estadia en El Salvador fue corta y regreso a China para estar de vuelta con mi abuelo. Sin embargo, si no hubiera sido por esa visita, ni yo ni mi hermana hubiéramos nacido en El Salvador y mis padres no harían una vida tan prospera en este pequeño gran país.
Debido a esto, la única manera para yo podía verla era solo viajar en avión para China. De cada visita guardo todas sus enseñanzas y todos los recuerdos con ella. Guardare en mi, las reganadas que nos daba cuando no ayudábamos a lavar los platos, el día que ella me enseno a doblar ordenadamente un pantalón para reflejar orden en mi persona, escucharla hablar de su niñez y las historias de su vida, comer sorbete en las tarde con ella (le encantaba el sorbete hasta llenaba la refrigeradora de eso), comer en la mesa con ella y el abuelo, la vez que nos hizo caminar alrededor de la casa para que se nos bajara la comida, que ella se preocupara de mi seguridad en un viaje que hice de xiao xing a caucon solo, escucharla poner a Julio Iglesia en la casetera, que me diera besote en el cachete y lo mas importante recordar que ella simplemente era la abuela que siempre se preocupo y me amo.

Que en paz descanses 婆婆 y que estés con Dios eternamente.

Tu querido nieto Miguel.

The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is out to Get Us!

'

My favourite song of Sufjan Stevens. I want to marry him.

I dreamt of a family two times yesterday. Does that mean that I miss them??

Dear World

Today is the day that the Lord has made.
We shall rejoice and be glad in it.

Isaiah 49:14-16

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, 

and have no compassion on the son of her womb?  

Even these may forget, 

but I will not forget you.  

Behold I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; 

your walls are continually before Me."

Many times, this verse has comforted my heart. The Lord thinks of me day and night...more than a mother thinks of her child. He has inscribed my name forever in His palm and He take cares of my whole life. I have no need to worry, even though life brings its problems.

As I get older, life gets more complicated. Distance and separation from my family and loved ones makes things difficult. I still have a heart of a child. I want the warmth and comfort of my family. The coldness and loneliness sometimes seems unbearable in Vancouver but I need to keep reminding myself: The Lord is with me. We walks with me in this life journey and we face everything together.

Everything I do is for Him. He deeply appreciates my decisions and actions. He loves me very dearly and has the best prepared for me. All I have to do is wait, labour and bear fruits for Him. I want my faith to be stronger so that I can yield more for Him. 

Oh Lord, I love You. I bear all things for You.

Song of Solomon 5

I slept but my heart was awake.

Listen! My lover is knocking:
"Open to me,
my sister,
my darling,
my dove,
my flawless one.

My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.

"I have taken off my robe—
must I put it on again? I have washed my feet—
must I soil them again?

My Lover thrust His hand through the latch-opening;
my heart began to pound for Him.
I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock.

I opened for my Lover,
but my Lover had left;
He was gone.

My heart sank at his departure.
I looked for Him but did not find Him.

I called Him but He did not answer...

[open the door to Him...He's been waiting for so long]

South of the Border

Pupusa night

El Salvador is a land of:

• Precious things
  
• Beautiful rain
  
• Big Insects
• Delicious food (pupusas)
• and awesome Friends :)

Tonight we went out for pupusas with my high school classmates. After almost 2 years of graduation, nothing much has changed. I really enjoyed hanging out with them.

Dr. Zhivago

"The whole human way of life has been destroyed and ruined. All that's left is the bare, shivering human soul, stripped to the last shred, the naked force of the human psyche for which nothing has changed because it was always cold and shivering and reaching out to its nearest neighbour, as cold and lonely as itself.

You and I are like the first two people on earth who at the beginning of the world had nothing to cover themselves -at the end of it, you and I are just as stripped and homeless. And you and I are the last remembrance of all that immeasurable greatness which has been created in the world in all the thousands of years between their time and ours, and it is in memory of all that vanished splendour that we live and love and weep and cling to one another"

Pasternak is a genius. He captures the essence of human life and love.

Russian poetry

The garden scatters burnt-up beetles
Like brazen ash, from braziers burst.
I witness, by my lighted candle,
A newly blossomed universe.

And like a not yet known religion
I enter this unheard of night,
In which the shabbily-grey poplar
Has curtained off the lunar light.

The pond is a presented secret.
Oh, whispers of the appletree!
The garden hangs-a pile construction,
And holds the sky in front of me.

Boris Pasternak

Russian lit

All right. Just forget for a minute that you have spectacles on your nose and autumn in your heart. Stop being tough at your desk and stammering with timidity in the presence of people. Imagine for one second that you raise hell in public places and stammer on paper. You're tiger, a lion, a cat.

-How it was done in Odessa.
Isaac Babel

Tango por una cabeza

I want to play like this one day.

the food of Love

If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.
O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou,
That, notwithstanding thy capacity
Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,
Of what validity and pitch soe'er,
But falls into abatement and low price,
Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy
That it alone is high fantastical.
.............
Twelfth Night

William Shakespeare

The Wasteland

'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'

---T.S Elliot

Read the entire poem if you have time.

The race of Faith

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus,
The author and finisher of our faith,
who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

(Hebrews 12:1-2)

La Vita Nuova

At that moment I say truly that the vital spirit, that which lives in the most secret chamber of the heart began to tremble so violently that I felt it fiercely in the least pulsation, and, trembling, it uttered these words: ‘Ecce deus fortior me, qui veniens dominabitur michi: 

Behold a god more powerful than I, who, coming, will rule over me.’ At that moment the animal spirit, that which lives in the high chamber to which all the spirits of the senses carry their perceptions, began to wonder deeply at it, and, speaking especially to the spirit of sight, spoke these words: ‘Apparuit iam beatitudo vestra: Now your blessedness appears.’ At that moment the natural spirit, that which lives in the part where our food is delivered, began to weep, and weeping said these words: ‘Heu miser, quia frequenter impeditus ero deinceps!: Oh misery, since I will often be troubled from now on!’

-Dante

I love how he captures the feeling of love.

Psalms 4: 7-8

You have put gladness in my heart,
More than when their grain and new wine abound.
In peace I will both lie down and sleep,
For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.

Fruit

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.
(John 15:4)

Un Rancho y Un Lucero

Un día ?¡primero Dios!?
has de quererme un poquito.
Yo levantaré el ranchito
en que vivamos los dos.

¿Que más pedir? Con tu amor,
mi rancho, un árbol, un perro,
y enfrente el cielo y el cerro
y el cafetalito en flor...

Y entre aroma de saúcos,
un zenzontle que cantará
y una poza que copiará
pajaritos y bejucos.

Lo que los pobres queremos,
lo que los pobres amamos,
eso que tanto adoramos
porque es lo que no tenemos...

Con sólo eso, vida mía;
con sólo eso:
con mi verso, con tu beso,
lo demás nos sobraría...

Porque no hay nada mejor
que un monte, un rancho, un lucero,
cuando se tiene un "Te quiero"
y huele a sendas en flor...

Alfredo Espino
Poeta Salvadoreño

Oda II

(Inspired by Horace and Eclesiastes)

¿De que se sacia los deseos del Corazón?
Con nada debajo del sol.
He aqui, he buscado la alegría en las riquezas,
las amistades, el amor terrenal....
pero encontre afán, dolor y miseria.

Mi alma hambrienta, inquiria:

¿Qué es la vida?
Fugaz.

Una pequeña fracción de lo que es eterno.
Un misterio, un significado escondido
en la eternidades que puso Dios
dentro de nuestro corazones.

(to be continued when I find more answers....)

random question

Is it practise or practice?

end of term

I finished classes yesterday.

The winter term is ridiculously short: 4 months.

That means, if I am not taking Summer School, I don't study for another 4 months.

I don't have to take Summer because the timetables are crazy (7pm-10pm??) and I have enough credits to get me through.

I rather go to a missionary trips or find a job.

Zephaniah 3:15-17

Sing, O Daughter of Zion;
shout aloud, O Israel!
Be glad and rejoice with all your heart,
O Daughter of Jerusalem!
The LORD has taken away your punishment,
He has turned back your enemy.
The LORD, the King of Israel, is with you;
never again will you fear any harm.
On that day they will say to Jerusalem,
"Do not fear, O Zion;
do not let your hands hang limp.
The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."

1Corinthians 13:13

Love, faith and hope are the only things that keeps me running this race and fighting this battle.

I am so thankful I have the Lord.

It is well with my soul.

La vida es Sueño

¿Qué es la vida? Un frenesí.
¿Qué es la vida? Una ilusión,
una sombra, una ficción,
y el mayor bien es pequeño:
que toda la vida es sueño,
y los sueños, sueños son.

La vida es Sueño
(Pedro Calderon de la Barca)

π

Happy π day!

Faith.

No one shall be forgotten who was great in this world; but everyone was great in his own way, and everyone in proportion to the greatness of what he loved. For he who loved himself became great in himself, and he who loved others became great through his devotion, but he who loved God became greater than all.

One became great through expecting the possible, another by expecting the eternal; but he who expected the impossible became greater than all.

There was one who was great in his strength, and one who was great in his wisdom, and one who was great in hope, and one who was great in love; but greater than all was Abraham,

great is that power whose strength is powerlessness,

great is that wisdom whose secret is folly,

great is that hope whose outward form is insanity,

great is that love which is hatred of self.

---Fear and Trembling

Soren Kierkegaard

Cantico

Despierta, alma mía, despierta
que larga es la noche soñolienta.
Fugaz es el tiempo
Si tarda la obra.

Ven de mañana a
saborear delicias,
trabajar tu viña.
Gozar de Mi amor.

Ven, amada ven.
No suspires con lo de ayer.
La noche es corta.
El alba se aproxima.

(written after taking a shower)

Coplas por la muerte de su padre

Nuestras vidas son los ríos
que van a dar en la mar,
que es el morir;
allí van los señoríos
derechos a se acabar
y consumir;
allí los ríos caudales,
allí los otros medianos
y más chicos,
y llegados, son iguales.

-Jorge Manrique (Siglo XIV)

Psalms 102:1-2

Hear my prayer, O LORD, and let my cry come unto thee.

Hide not thy face from me in the day when I am in trouble; incline thine ear unto me: in the day when I call answer me speedily.

-------

Who said this would be easy? I find myself struggling in this spiritual battle everyday. But I overcome all my weaknesses with the Lord. His victory is also my victory.

I will strive for Him till the end!

Colossians 1:12-17

Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:

Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:

In whom we have redemption through His blood, even the forgiveness of sins:

Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature:

For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:

And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

Apropos of the Wet Snow

Dreams came to me with a particular sweetness and intensity after a little debauch, they came with repentance and tears, with curses and raptures. There were moments of such positive ecstasy, such happiness, that not even the slightest mockery could be felt in me, by God. There was faith, hope, love.

This was the point, that I blindly believed then that through some miracle, some external circumstance, all this would suddenly extend, expand; suddenly a horizon of appropriate activity would present itself, beneficient, beautiful, and above all, quite ready-made (precisely what, I never knew, but above all -quite ready made,) and thus I would suddenly step forth under God's heaven all but on a whine horse and wreathed in laurels.

-Notes from Underground
Fyodor Dostoevsky

Proverbs 8:30

Then I was by Him,
as one brought up with Him:
and I was daily His delight,
rejoicing always before Him.

Either/or

Do not interrupt the flight of your soul; do not distress what is best in you; do not enfeeble your spirit with half wishes and half thoughts.

Ask yourself and keep on asking until you find the answer, for one may have known something many times, acknowledged it; one may have willed something many times, attempted it” and yet, only the deep inner motion, only the heart's indescribable emotion, only that will convince you that what you have acknowledged belongs to you, that no power can take it from you” for only the truth that builds up is truth for you.

-Soren Kierkegaard.

(2 Corinthians 3:18)

But we all, with unveiled face,
beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord,
are being transformed into
the same image
from glory to glory,
just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

Eclesiastes 3:15

Aquello que fue, ya es;
y lo que ha de ser, fue ya;
y Dios restaura lo que pasó.

Salmos 63:8

Está mi alma apegada a Ti; Tu diestra me ha sostenido.

Daddy's advice of the day

(spoken in Jiujiang dialect)

Daughter, don't be afraid of taking challenges.
Don't mind suffering.
Everything will pay off at the end.

Poems

I was going through my old IB files (heck, I was bored) and I found some poems, written by me...that were ahem, actually good.

I haven't written poems for a long time. Maybe because I am not that sentimental anymore or just too lazy. Before, I would write and write, play with words, structure and sounds. I would write poems to my friends to encourage them.

I should retake this. I miss the old 'poetic' me.

Here is one of my spanish poems. This was written while we were studying Pablo Neruda. It's not one of my best, but I like it:

Vi volar tus sueños con la brisa del mar.
Infinita, como las estrellas, es la hermosura de tu paladar
En la llanura de tu cuerpo, azota y da aliento el viento del verano.
Navega mi alma en tu mar de dulzura
Tempestad, majestad, eternidad en tres besos.
Oye, el zumbido del viento que traspasa nuestros corazones,
como una melodía en el silencio…

Psalms 63:3

Because
Thy lovingkindness is better than life,
my lips shall praise Thee.

Family

I decided to publish this sort of "anecdote" or whatever it is...written by my brother Miguel after my visit to Costa Rica.

My apologies to all English speakers. This is only available in Spanish.

My brother should update his old blog or open a new one.

-----
Aca te mando un detalle para q no te resintas de mis explosiones masivas en el trafico imposible de San Jose. Jajajajajjaa

Había una vez leí esta frase de un autor anónimo “uno nunca sabe que tan especial y preciado es algo hasta que ya no esta presente” Esta pequeña frase estuvo girando en mi cabeza durante unas dos horas después de despedirme de una visita que mi madre y hermana realizaron. La visita fue todo un fracaso en el aspecto turístico, sin embargo el estar con la familia y queridos fue todo un éxito.

Aunque no pudimos ver las imponentes cataratas que fluían en la región del Poas y no poder pescar una trucha saltante con nuestras propias manos, pudimos entender que es en verdad tener una familia. El ver a mi mama limpiar y cuidar con detalle y esmero mi apartamento, fue todo un símbolo de amor que ella tiene hacia mi. El ver a mi hermana traer desde las congeladas tierras de Canada deliciosos truffles y un exquisito Salmon de maple me hizo ver que en este mundo uno nunca esta ni solo ni sin que nadie lo ame.

Cada día que despierto anhelo poder vivir lo que viví estos tres días. Tener a mi mama prepararme un apetitoso desayuno y una hermana en el cual uno pelea por usar el baño, la televisión o computadora es un sentimiento que uno nunca aprecia hasta que no lo tiene presente todos los días. Uno no tiene que esperar hasta el día de cumpleaños o el show marketing de día de las madres y el padre para hacerlos sentir especial. Debería ser cada día que debemos hacer sentir a estas personas especiales.

La palabra “especial” hoy en día tiene muy poco significado. A nadie le importa como se sienten la gente que los rodean y menos de hacerlos sentir “especial”. Especial solo aparece en los combos de hamburguesas del Mac Donalds o Burger King, o en los anuncios de oferta que ofrece taca cada temporada baja. Claramente el mundo cambiaria si un día todos los humanos detuviéran todas sus rutinas diarias y se pusieran a pensar porque estan en este mundo y quienes los rodean.

Más jóvenes atestados de alcohol en sus hígados y perdidos en las discotecas entenderían porque a media noche tienen a su madre esperando en el comedor con una cena fría. O tal vez mas gente le podrían menos importancias a sus amistades mundanas y fijarse en el regalo que sus hermanitas les preparo con esmero en el Kinder. Estas personas entenderían que vivir es para amar y para amar hay que entender quienes nos rodea y que tantos nos aman.

En el nombre de Jesús Cristo oro que todos en este mundo entiendan que es el amor familiar el cual emana de El.