Bucket List

The places I want to go:

• Islamic China
• Tibetan China
• Yunnan (China)
• Vietnam
• Thailand
• Malaysia
• India
• Pakistan
• Nepal
• Myanmar
• Eastern Europe (the Baltic countries)
• Greece
• Croatia
• Scotland (the Highlands)
• Argentina
• Chile
• Mexico (again)
• Morocco
• Canary Islands
• Portugal
• Spain (Andalucia region)
• France (Provence)

Life lately

It's crazy to think that it's been almost one year since I moved to Costa Rica! Here are some pictures chronicling my life lately:

I love the climate in Costa Rica!

Officially part of the IB team! I will be teaching TOK for the IB Programme.

One of my close friends got married recently. I am thankful that I got to be one of her bridesmaids

Sketches

The smell of tumeric, curry, anise and dried shitake impregnate the small room at the back of the restaurant. The shelf, an aglomorated collection of relics from my parents travels around the world -jasmine tea, canned mackarell, ferrero rochers, satey sauce...you name it, we even have that dried fuzzy mushroom they put in soups -stands next to me as I catch the last rays of sunshine in the late afternoon, my favourite time of the day.

As I have grown older,  I have realized that we sell more than Chao Mein or Chop Suey; we sell the idea of China, the Far East, the Exotic, the Mystique to the people in El Salvador. And people buy that. They often ask: "Do you speak the language?" "Have you been to China?" or even more funnily, "Are you a Korean Chinese?" "What's the difference between Taiwan and China?" People often approach out of friendliness for some small talk. But I have often realized how little do I know about China, or what it means to be Chinese. Yes, I do speak the language, I do know the core values of honouring family and hard work. But I also eat Pupusas with my hands, speak in Salvadorean Caliche and laugh in Spanish with hand gestures and all (yes, there is a difference between hahaha and jajaja).

There are elements of the Chinese culture that still baffles me to this day. Why do we not openly talk about our feelings? Why do they talk about their children's salaries in their get-togethers? Why do Chinese families adhere to strict patriarchal structures that are rarely questioned?

Maybe some children of Chinese Immigrants might relate.

As I continue to ask questions (as I always do), I have been drawn to reading more about China and its culture. I have been reading Forgotten Kingdom by Peter Goullart,  a fascinating book by a Russian author about China's indigenous groups. Goullart describes with much detail about the Mosuo -an ethnic group near Lujiang with a matriarchal system that allows women to run the family and have walking marriages, meaning the men only come home to spend the night with his women and leave in the morning. How fascinating! There is zero to none marital problems, since husband and wife do not live together. Children are raised under the mother's home with the help of uncles and male members of the family. Women own the land that is passed down to their daughters.

And this leads me to this thought. We are born into a pre-established system with the purpose of maintaining the status quo. This status quo is what have helped to maintain order for that social group for a long period of time. The problem lies when the 'system' starts to clash with the changes that modern times inevitably bring to the newer generation, such as gender roles, communication styles, expectations, different values and so on. My theory is that there is a breaking point; when the new generation establishes a new status quo, forms its own system, their offsprings are born into it and voilà, the cycle starts again.

Conversations

While students are working in their speeches during Language Arts class

"Ms Chang, have you ever been in love?"
"Yes, I have."
"How do you know when you are in love?"
"When all you want is to make the other person happy."
"How do you know if the person is right for you?"
"When the other person makes you a better person."

So simple yet so true.

Realization

It never ocurred to me, but some people are no longer in my life because they were not right for me and simply, we were not meant to be.

This applies to ex "friends", ex-boyfriends, ex-fellow churchgoers, ex-supervisors and (ex)family members.

It's a way of the universe's doing to kick toxicity out of my life and invite me to dance freely (and bravely) again. 

It's easier to let go this way and embrace growth.

#healing #late20s

Quote of the moment:













----Stephen Hawking in A Brief History of Time

nightly musings

[While the music of the night plays]

Some things are not worth remembering.
Worth forgetting.
Worth leaving behind. Forever.

Yet there are memories,
That keeps me alive during the darkest hours of the night.
You were the Summer of my life.
Alive and brilliant.
Tender and intelligent.
Loving and patient.

My True Brother. My Best Friend.

Cambridge, here I go!

Letter of acceptance to Cambridge Summer School--two weeks of studying literature and exploring England.

It will be a wonderful Summer. 

Ms Chang

The Love Song of Har Dyal

Can a man stand upright in the face of the naked Sun;
or a Lover in the Presence of his Beloved?
If my feet fail me, O Heart of my Heart,
am I to blame, being blinded by the glimpse of your beauty?
Alas! alas! Can the Moon tell the Lotus of her love when the
Gate of Heaven is shut and the clouds gather for the rains?
They have taken my Beloved, and driven her with the pack-horses
to the North.
There are iron chains on the feet that were set on my heart.
Call to the bowman to make ready —

Life is a series of adventures

Costa Rica is pura vida!

Pictures of White River Rafting with my colleagues. What a fun weekend. 
 

Christ in me

The more I love my students,
In spite of their brokeness, mishaps and whatnots,
The more I feel that Christ forms in me.
It's like fibres of being binded with chords of love resonate within
Everytime I whisper prayers and good thoughts for their day.
I hear the Spirit groan and yearn so dearly for them.

Unsurpassing Peace

I am so thankful for moving to Costa Rica.

It's the first time in my life that I have experienced so much peace in my heart.

So much peace.

Pure Magic

Celebrating the first day of 2017 in Niagara Falls with the mother.

What a wonderful day.

2016 review

This year has finally come to an end. Overall, it was a tough year but a good year because I learned a lot of things. My perspective in life has changed and I have learned to be more positive and resilient.

Here are some of the few things I have learned:

Do not let negative people/energy into your life: Your time on earth is short and sacred; too short to let negative people suck the energy out of you life. This year I had to let go of certain "friendships" because they were toxic and harmful. Pain is pain. And pain acts as a sensor that something is wrong. If someone is constantly causing you pain or draining your energy, it's time to reconsider and drop them like it's hot. Protect yourself from these people. Listen to your intuition.

Your actions define you: I've been reading Marcus Aurelius' meditations lately and one of his quotes struck me -"A man's life is defined by their actions." Talk is cheap. If you want to achieve something, set your thoughts and plans into motion.

See the positive in everything: Always see the silver lining in tough situations. Positivity changes everything.

Treasure your true friends and family members: Because life is hard and they are probably the few people who will support you and have your back when things get rough. My best moments in life come from when I am surrounded with my loved ones.

You came to earth for a purpose: I recently went to visit a friend in Guatemala. She is a fashion blogger and has recently started designing handbags. She shared with me how much fulfillment she found by expressing her art and passion through her designs. On our way to a restaurant, we stumbled across an artist that painted birds for a living. We were admiring his art and he muttered the words: "you came to this earth with a certain set of strengths, and once you find your strengths and use them for a greater good, you have found your purpose and work will not seem like work at all." He shared about how he started selling his art out of necessity, but also because it was his passion to share his art with others. "Now my birds are all over the world," he said with a deep sense of satisfaction. He has been painting birds for 37 years. My friend bought one of his birds for me. She was touched and inspired by his words that she insisted him to keep the change. It's amazing how something so simple like painting birds and his words had an impact on our journey.

Fruition

The semester has come to an end, the grades are in and I'm finally back home visiting family for a few weeks.

As an educator, the most rewarding aspect of my job is to see the meaningful connections and learning made by my students. My focus is to apply language skills in real life situation and develop their critical thinking. For example, we worked in preparing a UN debate where they compiled data and facts and used them to build an arguement. We also watched and analyzed the US presidential debates. The students enjoyed it very much and it's wonderful to witness their growth and motivation.

Birthday card that my students made for me. One of the messages read:
"Thank you for teaching me something useful for life."

Next year, I am planning to go to Cambridge for a two-week course in Literature. I was also invited to a conference in Bógota, Colombia (COMIBAM) to join 2500 missionaries on a series of workshops, panels and meets-and-greets. I'm also planning to attend IB workshops and continue to equip myself as an educator.

This year's biggest lesson was to never give up hope. Even though God may shut a door, He will surely open one that it's a better fit. Moving to Costa Rica was the best decision I made, and I'm so thankful for the sunny and beautiful weather and places I get to visit.

Next year will be an exciting one. Let's all hope for the best. 

Sketches

"Thinking back, it was all about them and not Christ; their plight, their persecution, their suffering, their tears, their Malaria, their near-death experience, their cause, their charity, their songs, their published books. Rarely did they mention about God's kindness or forgiveness, but rather they judged and shunned those who did not agree with them. It was as if those childhood wounds and lack were screaming behind their faces, whining and begging the admiration, pity and submission from others. It was awful."

Life lately

Life has been good in Costa Rica. I am liking my job at the International School so far. Last week, we had a Model United Nations with my Grade 8. They did a splendid job debating and presenting their speeches.

I have been meditating about the changes in my life lately. There has been a lot of crazy changes, but I am glad that God has encouraged me to take risks and try out new things and meet new people. Moving to a new country is not easy but I rely on His grace and abundance. I know that He has the best in store for me.

All I need is to trust Him. Oh He loves me so...

Pictures of life in Costa Rica:

Postscript

My Summer trip has come to an end. Within 48 hours, it will be the start of a new page of my life. I am moving to Costa Rica for a full-time teaching position. And I am planning to stay there for three years or so. But before that happens, a candid reflection as of lately---

This trip ranged from taking a 5-hour road trip to Tofino talking about preaching styles amongst Evangelicals in El Salvador, discussing about representations of hyper feminity and hyper masculinity in our culture, kayaking in one of the pristine lakes in the Pacific Northwest, seeing one of my high school best friend after 3 years, touristing around Lamma Island, getting lost in the middle of the night in Hong Kong while drinking Black Sesame VitaSoy, getting a Lymphatic massage out of a groupon deal, rushing to the airport with my BFF, flying back to Vancouver, staying at a sketchy Air BnB place (which included Spiders, yikes!), bumping into YouTubers at the Richmond Night Market and catching up with a group of friends that were my support group during my post-college years while drinking a variety of Pale Ales and Hipster Beers in Olympic Village, Vancouver.

At some point, this trip reminded me of Pedro Paramo -a book we read back in the good ol' IB days. The book accounts of a character who revisits his past through his encounter of people from his past in Comala. The book is not written in chronological order, and it's like a puzzle for the reader to decipher Juan Preciado's life. And like this book, during this trip I revisited places and people from key moments of my past -a highschool friend, a college friend, an orchestra friend, church friends, etc. It was interesting to see how much I have changed, how people have change and how things have changed. There were moments when God spoke to my heart that helped me heal and let go of demons from the past. This trip provided closure.

And this trip also made me also reflect about the crazy multicultural life I have, the awesome friendships God has given me over the years, my love for rich and deep intellectual conversations and the things I want out of life. And this is what I want - an open mind, a thirst for knowledge and newness, good relationships, an adventurous spirit and a zest for growth and life. 

A rebirth.

Viva la Vida.

Tofino

There is something healing about spending time in nature in the company of a close friend.

Tofino was bliss.

Conversations

It was one starry night in the mountains of Pachuchup, Guatemala at the indigenous village that we were serving last year in which I found an answer that shed light into my heart. After much *itching and ranting, this phrase came from a complete stranger, whom I barely met a few days ago, hiked for three hours in the wilderness and shared a meal or two of tortilla, beans and chicken soup. This phrase was uttered with such an unapologetic grace and compassion enough to remind myself to forgive mine and other's vilest transgressions and that God's fierce and tender love engulfs our whole entire race.

"Because we are human."