Fullness of Joy

I'm done with my final exams! Praise the Lord :)

I'll be leaving tomorrow for a vacation trip in Hawaii with my mom.

Please pray for our safety, and that we may have an awesome mother-daughter bonding time.

Anyways...

May you enjoy the presence of the Lord, and live in the fullness of His joy everyday.

Rejoice always!

You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11)

Metaphor and Imagery

Here is the first draft of a rather disjointed poem of mine.

A strong wind may shake a tree
but not blow it away.
Snowing petals cover the earth and sky,
Its sweet fragrance spreads at night.
New leaves are budded. Old ones are gone.
All the trees of the field will clap their hands.

Even during the trials of our lives,
Love and joy are found.
Let us all look on the bright side.

Yay

I just wrote 2 finals today. Yep...2 down and 2 more to go!

I walked out of the exam room with a big smile in my face for my first exam because I received an 84% in my research paper! After countless and countless of hours of research, and reading in the University's Rare and Special collection, it finally paid off!

This is indeed something worth celebrating. In the past, I used to get B and B- (that Latin American History essay HURT my feelings). I've also got As for small papers. BUT this is the very first A- for a big research paper.
Yay!

Okey doke. I need to continue studying for my next History final. The professor is pretty intense so I really need to study for it.

The Call

This song summarizes my feelings for the past 3 years



I'm suddenly feeling nostalgic today. All these memories have been flooding my mind like a tsunami...

But the Lord reminded me to live in the present, and in the fullness of His joy.

Ephesians 3:17-19

That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.

Research

I'm chaining myself to a desk so that I can finish writing my Social History paper (3000 words!)

And we (my roommate and I) brought so much food into the library (pasta, sandwiches, snacks) for our survival. It looks like we are going to a picnic.

So far I have 889 words. Meh.

I promised myself to stay off blogger, facebook, youtube and wikipedia (I read their articles for fun...sad)

And look what I'm doing here...updating my blog. Hahaha

OK. I'm OFF.

God's Awesomness in the Earthquake

I recently received an email about a missionary who experienced the tremors of the Chilean earthquake. It's amazing how God gave her peace during such a turbulent time.

Please continue to pray for the people in Chile. May the Lord open their hearts for the gospel.

-------
Well, Saturday morning started with a real shake. I had worked until 8:15 pm on Friday then I went to eat with some friends. I got home around 10:30pm and hit the sack. I was exhausted. However, 3:24 in the morning I was shaken from my bed. I felt the shaking and for some reason realized that this was more than the tremors I had felt previously in Guatemala. I jumped out of bed and thought that I should get a robe on and some shoes. I grabbed my cell phone to see if it worked and of course the service was gone and then I went to stand in the door way between the bedrooms. Yes, they had sent out an article recently explaining that you are to lie down on the floor and wait but all that would go through my mind was what I had heard over and over, stand in the door jam. As I stood in the door jam on the 2nd floor of my 19 floor apartment building I felt the movement of the building and heard things falling and sliding. The thought went through my mind that if this was the real thing the other 19 floors would come donw on me but at the same time I felt the Lord there with me.

Then the shaking stopped and it was a feeling of "what now"!!. I decided it was time to get dressed so that I could get out of the building. I groped around in the dark as all of the electriciy, phones, and cell phones were out of commission. I remembered where my clothes were, it does pay to drop the on the floor sometimes and pick them up later, and my shoes. I headed to my front door. In the movement of the building the door was jammed. I couldn't get out.

I started seeing people leaving our building and gathering out front and in the distance I saw one of our ISC couples coming up the visitor parking lot to see if Jackie B, the other singel missionary in my building, and I were ok. He threw me a flashlight and told me to get the screwdriver and take the dead lock off. He came up the stair well and between the two of us he got the dead bolt of and I headed out the door with my purse. There is a sense of desperation when you can't get out of your front door and you wonder if there will be another tremor or if things may still fall.

We waited around 4 hours to go back into the building because of aftershocks and to make sure there was no gas leaks. Around 7:30 the logistic leaders of our mission came by to make sure we were all ok. Of course we all had to tell our story.

We headed back to my apartment around 7:30 to wait and see about water, electricity and TV. We wanted to get the news of what had happened. We knew it was big but never thought it was THAT big. We were just amazed that we had survived in these high rise aparments with the magnitude of the quake. Yes, they do follow the building codes down here.

Saturday I was able to get a hold of family, Guatemala missionaries and Guatemalan friends. We had to go to the office and use a line that was not connected to any cell phones, cable phones, or internet phones. Thank god for that phone. We headed back to my apartment Saturday night and the four of us, the couple from the apartment next door, Jackie B, and I stayed in my apartment. We felt better together since we didn't have lights and the building was still swaying. You feel it a lot more the higher up you are. The couple lives on the 9th floor and Jackie B lives on the 8th floor.

Was I scared, I really can't remember all that went through my mind. I knew it was really different than the tremors in Guatemala. I had seen the sites from Haiti. I don't want to do it again, but I felt a peace that I think God gives us when we are alone.

Sunday we got electricity back and I helped Jackie B clean up her apartment. It looked like a gang and gone through with a base ball bat. It was just amazing the things that broke and the things that were left.

Yesterday I got my tv and internet back, so I also have my internet phone. You can call me if you desire after I get home.

By the way we had another pretty good tremor today, Wednesday the 3rd. Mother earth is not finished shifting.

Thanks for your prayers. God's hand was upon me and all of the other missionaries.

Unusual instruments

I have a natural attraction towards any kind of instruments. Here is a list of unusual instruments that has recently caught my interest:

Musical Saw - Playing music from a saw? Seriously? You either hate it or love it.

Handbell - Never heard of one until I saw this video. Sounds beautiful.

Bowed guitar - Sounds like the cello. I might try it one day.

Olympic hype

I've been out all day.

As in 8:30 am to 12:00 am.

I worked from 9:30am to 2:00 pm. Then I hung out with my English classmates in Richmond, which was pretty cool. We had bubble tea, rode a ferris wheel and hung out in the olympic tents. So asian...lol

Okay. It's late and I just wanted to drop a quick update to remember this day :)

1 Corinthians 13 (Planet K version)

If I could speak all the languages of the world
and if I had all the money to give to the poor
but have not love...
It would mean nothing.

If I had all the knowledge and faith to move continents
and if I possessed the skills and talents to attract masses
But if I did not love You...
It would all be in vain.

If I was to be the best member in the church
and attended all the meetings
and spoke great things about Your name
But if I did not love my brethren
It would all go to waste.

Love suffers. Love forgives and forgets.
Love is unconditional. Sincere. From the heart.
Love is patient and kind. It does not provoke anger.
Does not envy. Does not think/do evil.
Love rejoices in all things. Bears all things with joy,
Hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

Regocijaos!

You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken,"
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate";
But you will be called, "My delight is in her,"
And your land, "Married";
For the LORD delights in you,
And to Him your land will be married.
For as a young man marries a virgin,
So your sons will marry you;

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So your God will rejoice over you.

Isaiah 62:3-5

Alzando manos caidas

Alzando manos caidas,
cuando la situación no da esperanzas
cuando la desesperación entra al alma
e inunde el cuerpo y el pensamiento
y apaga la alabanza.

Pero la fe es un grano de mostaza
que lucha, crece y vence.
Con el amor de Cristo
Sí se puede!
No pierdas aliento.
No temas.
No dejes que el enemigo te robe
el gozo, el amor y la esperanza.
La noche es corta, se acerca el Día.
Alza tus manos caidas y confía nuevamente
En el Autor y Consumador de nuestra fe,
Cristo Jesús.
Amen.

I tend to write poems when I'm sad. Let's say that I've been very sad lately :(

Bendita la hora

Bendita la hora en que te conocí
Bendita la estación en me enamore de Tí
Bendito el segundo, el momento en que entregue a Tí.

Tantos años, pero Tu amor hacia mí sigue siendo
tan nuevo, tan fuerte, tan apasionado...
como aquel primer momento en que nuestras almas se unieron.

Te adoro Señor!
Tu eres mi ser, mi vida, mi todo.


---Inspired after breaking the bread and drinking the cup.
In loving memory of Your glorious death and resurrection.

Angel

This is so 2001.

My favourite song back when I was in 7th grade.

Good times :)

Season of the Hand

The following is an excerpt of a short story written by Julio Cortázar "Estación de la mano" which the narrator tells of a mysterious disembodied hand that visits him for a period of time.

Season of the Hand by Julio Cortázar

I gave her names: I liked to call her Dg, because it was a name that only allowed to be thought of. I incited her vanity by leaving bracelets and rings on the table, spying her attitude with utmost secrecy. Sometimes I thought she would adorn herself with the jewelry, but she meticulously studied them without touching, like a skeptic spider; and although she put on the amethyst ring for a short moment, she abandoned it as if it was an explosive. I hurried to hide the jewelry in her absence and ever since then, she appeared to be much happier.

And thus the seasons declined, some became slender and other weeks were shaded with violent lights, as her visits became our ambience. The hand came back every afternoon, soaked by the autumn rains, I saw her rest on the carpet as she tediously dried her fingers, sometimes with sporadic jumps of satisfaction. During the frigid sunsets her shadow was stained in violet. I lit up a brazier on my feet and she curled and kept still, except when she received with careless displeasure an album with engravings or a wool ball that she liked to twist and tie. I discovered she could not stay still for long. One day she found a trough with clay and she rushed to it. She spent countless of hours molding the clay while I, with my back turned pretended not to care.

Naturally, she modeled a hand. I let it dry and I put in on my desk to demonstrate my appreciation towards her work of art. It was a mistake: Dg was annoyed at the contemplation of her petrified self-portrait. When I hid it, she pretended out of modesty not to see it.

My interest soon turned to be analytical. Tired of surprises, I wanted to know the unfortunate end of all adventure. Questions about my guest came into my mind: Did she vegetate, feel, understand, love? I made experiments. I observed that the hand was capable of reading but never wrote. One afternoon I opened the window and I placed a pen on the desk, blank pages and when Dg came in, I walked away so I that I would not burden her timidity. Through the keyhole, I saw her habitual paces; but then, hesitantly, she went to the desk and picked up the pen. I heard the screech of the pen and after I was held in suspense, I entered the studio. In diagonal and outlined letters, Dg wrote: This resolution dissolves the previous ones until there is a new order. I could not make her write again.

2010!!

Happy 2010 everybody!!

2010 marks the beginning of a new decade. In this decade, I'll probably:
1) finish my university degree
2) start my professional career
3) do more for the Lord!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I can't believe that the 2000's is over. It was an awesome decade...because I believed in God and grew a lot spiritually. I'm so happy that God revelaed Himself to me in 2007 and I finally found direction in my life.

May the Lord greatly bless this coming year and bring a BIG harvest around the world. He is coming SOON.

Fruits of the spirit

I've been looking for this verse for a while and found it last night when I stayed up reading the Bible. I would like to share it with you:

But the fruit of the Spirit is
love,
joy,
peace,
longsuffering,
gentleness,
goodness,
faith,
Meekness,
temperance:
against such there is no law.
(Galatians 5:22-23)

Abuela

Noviembre 30. El viento ruge incesablemente, soplando las hojas muertas de piso. La noche es larga y oscura. Las estrellas duermen y la luna se ha escondido.

Camino hacía la parada del bus. El frío me llega hasta los huesos y lucho contra el viento. Mi corazón palpita fuertemente al pensar que tú...ya no estas aquí. Mi padre me acaba de llamar, y me dijo que nos dejastes hace unos días.

Estoy sentada en el bus y los recuerdos inunden mi pensamiento. Me acuerdo aquella vez que me ensenastes a perginar, o aquella vez que me comprastes paletas en un dia de verano. Aquella vez en 2006 que me contabas sobre tu pasado, entre lagrimas y risas. Solo me dejaron verte un dia, y recuerdo tan bien ese ultimo día contigo. Leímos la Biblia y platicamos toda la tarde. Te hablé sobre el amor del Padre y tu rezastes el rosario.

Tres años despues y ya no te pude ver.

Y despues me doy cuenta, que la vida es fugaz. La muerte nos arrebata en un instante y nuestra existencia cesa de ser. La muerte es dura y cruel porque nos separa de nuestros seres queridos y de todo lo que hemos sido y amado en este mundo entero.

Me duele preguntar. ¿Donde estás abuelita? Yo sé que eras Católica pero no sé si aceptastes la salvación de Cristo. Quiero saber si estás en las manos de Dios ó lejos de Él.

No quiero estar aquí. Quiero estar en los brazos de mi madre y llorar al lado de ella. Necesito consuelo y hacer memoria de ti. Quiero guardar en mi mente, todas las tardes calurosas en Xiao Xing donde estuve a tu lado y de mi amada familia. Fueron cinco veces en que te vi y cinco veranos inolvidables a tu lado. Duele saber que la proxima vez que vaya, tu ya no estarás ahí.

Estoy orando por tí y mi familia. Te amo.

Luz Amable Palacios Chong

My grandmother recently passed away. My mother flew back to China to see her one last time...but couldn't make it due to visa problems. Please pray for her and her family and may God comfort their hearts.

I share so many precious memories with my dear boh boh. The first time I saw her was in 1993...I was 4 years old and all I remember was sitting by her side and listening to her stories. She was a strong women. Her mother (my great grandmother) left her when she was young with her siblings. She grew up in an orphanage and endured many things such as WW2 (Japanese invasion) and the Cultural Revolution.

My grandma, even though she was Catholic, was the first one to talk to me about God...she taught me how to do persinar..."in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen." It was the first time that I heard about the trinity God. Even though I converted to Christianity, I give thanks to her for introducing me to God.

The following is a short biography of my grandmother written by my brother. My apologies to all English Speakers but this is written in Spanish.

1 de Diciembre 2009.

婆婆…fue la primera palabra que me ensenaron para introducirme a esta persona tan querida, que aunque estábamos distante en espacio se sentía siempre…ese amor de familia y ese calor que muchas veces solo una abuela puede llegar a dar.

Recuerdo que la primera vez que ví a 婆婆 fue en el año 1993, en mi primer viaje a China. Nunca me la habían presentado personalmente porque cuando yo nací ella ya se habido ido de El Salvador para China. No me recuerdo si la había visto en foto antes de conocerla, pero si me causaba mucha emoción de conocer a mi abuelita y abuelito en aquel entonces.

Llegamos en barco de Hong Kong a la ciudad donde ella vivía con mi abuelito, la ciudad de Xiao Xing. Subir esas escaleras con las antiguas maletas pesadas a su apartamento que si mal no recuerdo era de color naranja gris. Ya al llegar a la puerta…si esa primera vez en que los vi a ellos dos, fue el inicio de cinco visitas, Pocas pero cada una llena de recuerdos y enseñanzas sabias que solo una abuela puede llegar a ensenar.

El saludarlos y verlos por primera vez era algo más que emocionante ya que eran mis abuelos, esas dos personas que siempre mencionaban pero nunca los había visto, y que si ellos no existiesen…yo tampoco lo haría.

Era medio día y ya tenían hasta el almuerzo esperando en la mesa para nosotros. Habían preparado entre los tantos platos huevo revuelto con carne, lo que más me ha gustado desde pequeño, era como que ya sabían que era lo le gustaba a cada uno, cosas que solo los abuelos hacen.

En esa primera visita pasamos un mes con mis abuelos. Esa fue la vez que pase más con ellos y fue tal vez donde más conocí a mi abuela aun siendo pequeño. Era una persona que le gustaba mucho tener las cosas en orden y que todos nos portáramos bien y que no causáramos problemas. Nos repetía una y otra vez aunque nos aburriera que debíamos estudiar para ser personas grandes en el futuro, y más bien ahora se lo agradezco que me lo haya dicho y me gustaría que en este mismo momento me lo repitiera. Nos enseno a respetar a nuestros padres, que apreciáramos lo que ellos eran y que los ayudáramos cuando pudieran ya que ellos se ganan la vida con sudor y esfuerzo día a día. Nos contaba lo difícil que era la vida antes en China para ellos, para mis papas y para mis tíos. Ella quería que eso nos sirviera para ver que tan privilegiada era nuestra generación de tener las comodidades que tenemos hoy. Sabidurías sabias que solo se las puede trasmitir una persona de esa grandeza y con un largo recorrido en el camino de la vida.

Mi abuela tiene una historia interesante, era hija de once hermanos, su mama (mi bisabuela) era mexicana y su padre (mi bisabuelo) era un chino que emigro a México. Sin embargo, en ese entonces los chinos fueron expulsados de México por razones políticas y ellos se trasladaron a El Salvador, lugar donde he nacido yo y donde mi familia ha llamado casa.

Su estadía y niñez en El Salvador fue corta, ya que por decisión de mi bisabuelo decidió regresar a China para hacer una vida ahí. Mi bisabuelo había hecho algo de dinero que lo usaría para construir una casa en su pueblo natal jiujiang para que todos sus hijos crecieran conociendo de donde eran y quienes eran. Lo irónico fue que mi abuela termino aprendiendo a hablar Chino de por vida y se le olvido casi en su totalidad su lengua materna el español. Eso si, nunca perdió el buen gusto por la buena música en español y su cantante favorito era Julio Iglesias, era evidente que conocía que era la buena música.

Ya una vez establecidos en China por mala fortuna la prosperidad no les duro mucho a ellos. Mi bisabuelo falleció repentinamente y al mismo tiempo China estaba siendo invadida por Japon. Viendo la situación mi bisabuela solo podía llevarse de vuelta a El Salvador a 5 o 6 de los 11 hijos que había llevado a China. Mi abuela termino quedándose en un orfanatorio con sus otros hermanos y hermanas en China.

En mi quinta visita cuando fui solo por primera vez a China, ella me conto en detalle todo los momentos duro que tuvo que pasar durante esa época. Me conto entre lagrimas que durante esos días de niñez nunca probo una galleta, o que no había ni pasta de dental para cepillarse los dientes. Tuvo que trabajar y cuidar a los hermanos pequeños y ganarse la vida a como fuera para sobrevivir en tiempos tan difíciles. De ahí me enseno a ser ahorrador a apreciar lo que tenemos hoy y no desperdiciarlo, claro no solo lo predicaba sino que también lo cumplía. En cada visita me acuerdo que ella tenía todos los tubos de pasta dental planos, le sacaba hasta lo último. Irónicamente una semana antes que falleciera me acorde de ella y use un tubo de pasta dental y lo aplane hasta no dar más, al extremo que termine cortando la cola del tubo para sacar lo último que quedaba.

También fue en ese entonces donde se aferro más a Dios y confío todo en El. Es por eso que cada vez que la veía o la llamaba por teléfono me recordaba “siempre pidele a Jesus que te proteja y te ayude en tus estudios” Ademas de eso, tambien guardo bien claro la primera vez que me enseno a persignarme con el famoso “Del padre del hijo del espíritu santo amen” Aunque yo termine convirtiéndome en Cristiano y no me persigno mas, ese recuerdo siempre lo guardare. Espero que ante todo ella haya encontrado el verdadero amor y la salvación en Jesus.

Afortunadamente mi abuela encontró entre tanta dificultad un hombre que la amo y que ella lo amo hasta al final y ese es mi abuelito. Con el procreo tres hijas y tres hijos, siendo mi mama la menor. Ya que mi abuelo se caso con mi abuela que era mitad mexicana terminaron todos los del pueblo apodándolo el occidental fok (fan kui fok)

Juntos los dos pasaron por otra época difícil, el reinado comunista en China. Tuvieron que enfrentarse al hambre, al racionamiento, a los prejuicios y maltrato de los comunistas ya que ellos fueron estigmatizados como capitalistas y aun así lograron sacar a adelante a sus seis hijos. Mi abuela era una luchadora que nunca se rindió.

Tantos años estuvo en China que la vida le presento la oportunidad de regresar a la tierra que la vio nacer, El Salvador. Fue así donde empaco sus maletas y consigo se llevo a tres de sus hijos, mi tio menyi, mi tia soy heng y mi mama. Arribo a El Salvador y se reencontró con su mama y todos los hermanos que dejo de ver por más de 40 años.

Cuenta que durante esta visita a El Salvador ella logro recordar muy poquito de español que ella aprendió durante su niñez. Entre risas nos contaba como aprendió a decir los famosos “cheles” de los ojo.

Su estadia en El Salvador fue corta y regreso a China para estar de vuelta con mi abuelo. Sin embargo, si no hubiera sido por esa visita, ni yo ni mi hermana hubiéramos nacido en El Salvador y mis padres no harían una vida tan prospera en este pequeño gran país.
Debido a esto, la única manera para yo podía verla era solo viajar en avión para China. De cada visita guardo todas sus enseñanzas y todos los recuerdos con ella. Guardare en mi, las reganadas que nos daba cuando no ayudábamos a lavar los platos, el día que ella me enseno a doblar ordenadamente un pantalón para reflejar orden en mi persona, escucharla hablar de su niñez y las historias de su vida, comer sorbete en las tarde con ella (le encantaba el sorbete hasta llenaba la refrigeradora de eso), comer en la mesa con ella y el abuelo, la vez que nos hizo caminar alrededor de la casa para que se nos bajara la comida, que ella se preocupara de mi seguridad en un viaje que hice de xiao xing a caucon solo, escucharla poner a Julio Iglesia en la casetera, que me diera besote en el cachete y lo mas importante recordar que ella simplemente era la abuela que siempre se preocupo y me amo.

Que en paz descanses 婆婆 y que estés con Dios eternamente.

Tu querido nieto Miguel.

The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is out to Get Us!

'

My favourite song of Sufjan Stevens. I want to marry him.

I dreamt of a family two times yesterday. Does that mean that I miss them??